Where do you go, My Lovely?
by Martyyna
Summary: Nea was Changed at 15. Her attacker was killed so she decides to go to the US in search for info, where she lands in a middle of a war between a pack and rouges. Can she trust anyone after all she been thru in USA? Violent material, rape, laguage, RATED M
1. Chapter 1 Prolouge: The Beginning

Chapter 1/Prologue

My mother had always said I would get into trouble without her.

I guess she was right at some point. And I had a lot of time to think about what happened in the last 6 months, while I hid on a cargo in my wolf form.

But let's begin at the start.

My name is Nea, short for Linnea. I'm 15 and a werewolf.

I was Changed to be a werewolf 6 months ago. Well, bitten before that but the Change wasn't completed until next month, when Mother Moon called.

I was walking from the movies with my friends (I might add, at full moon) when a werewolf (although I thought it was "something" then) attacked us.

I've always been a bit protective over persons I loved and cared about and I held of the beast while my friends ran. I wanted, above everything, for them to have a chance. I was bitten, or mangled really, but my attacker was shot by the cops that drove by. They took out his spinal cord with several bullets.

I healed quickly, even for me, and next month, while I taking my dig for a long evening walk, I Changed.

I won't get into that. It was nothing nice, still isn't.

Since I was a BIG fan of different sorts of fantasy and stuff, I saved myself the aspect of denial. It was useless anyway.

I stayed in my wolf form for over a month. It made me understand and learn to cooperate with Sister Wolf. It wasn't very hard, and we came to an agreement pretty soon.

After that I stuck around in Sweden, my home, some time, making it seem I ran away from home. When I made sure about that, I changed permanently to a wolf.

I decided after some time, I would go to the USA. It was my choice, since in all the books and stories, there were nicer and somehow more civilized wolves there. Since I didn't know anyone with a personal experience, I decided to try it out.

It took me 2 months to get past the airport security in London in my wolf form and to hop on a cargo of a plane plying to the States.

I thought about my family and stuff while I flew, trying to distract me from the roaring engines that were threatening to make me deaf.

I think they'll be mostly relieved I left. I never had a good connection with my mother or either of my sisters. I think that the persons that will miss me the most will be my friends. And perhaps some of my teachers.

I was an excellent student. Literally, perfect grades and almost all of my teachers adored me. Well, at least the ones that weren't prejudiced against me and my looks.

You could say, if you wanted to be gentle, that I stuck out from the crowd.

I had short red (truly red, like fireman red) hair and the most of my wardrobe ware entirely black clothes. I also kind of abused black eyeliner. And to be entirely honest, an occasional razor blade. But don't ask.

When I landed in Miami (it was either this or Anchorage, Alaska) as soon as the cargo opened, I grabbed my backpack in my jaws and jumped out. I had the element of surprise on my side which made it extremely easy to run.

I ran to the edges of city and finally found a small house, which was apparently empty for some time now according to the smell.

Fully-Clothed and sitting on the bed, I thought what to do. I wanted to find some other werewolves and so, but it's not like you can check the nearest phone book and find their number.

I decided to go to the store and grab some necessary products. And in the store, while I couldn't decide which cheese to pick (I'm picky like hell), I smelled werewolf.

I recognized the smell right away. It was the same undertone my smell had, and the same I smelled afterwards on the clothes, I had the day I was attacked. It was the smell I came looking for. And what did I do? I panicked. Panicked and ran.

I left my cart and just ran out. When outside, I quickly Changed in some bushes and with the backpack in my muzzle I ran, as fast I could, just straight ahead.

7 days later, I was in Washington, the state, not the city. At least I was told so by a stranger on a street the last time I checked.

Right now, it was full moon and I was hidden in a cave somewhere in Washington, exhausted like hell from running. Mostly I ran, ran and occasionally hunted and to be honest I didn't have time to sleep. I don't know why I didn't stop or so, simply ran. Now I was totally worn out, beat, dog-tired, call it what you want. I really wanted to sleep but Sister Wolf insisted we stayed awake.

Almost always, we were in perfect harmony (I've always been quite predatory) but now we just fought. We both were exhausted, both aware of the danger of the full moon but neither of us slept in the latest week. She thought we should wait out another couple of hours but I was too tired.

At least, I won. We fell asleep in the wolf form.

It turned out I should have listened to my Sister.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**I shall update as soon as possible, I'm sick so you shouldn't have to wait long. Comments help though!**

**// Martyyna**


	2. Chapter 2: The Capture

**Chapter 2: The capture**

I was sleeping so deeply I didn't hear the other wolves until it was too late.

I hazily recall opening my eyes to see a naked man holding a tranquilizer gun. He was tall, about 1, 9 meters (6'3 feet) with a muscular body, full with scars, mostly from claws and teeth. He had a bit too small nose for his face and a wide, full mouth. His eyes were light jade colored, though I didn't know if they were his human or wolf eyes. The expression on his face looked exited. He had strands of his hair plastered to his face, probably sweat from the change.

Beside him, in a circle around me, were different wolves, at least 20 of them. Their colors were different, mostly different shades of gray with white bellies but they were 3 or 4 brown-gray and brown-black, the brown dominating. All the wolves looked hostilely (wow, a weird word) at me, some even growling and baring their teeth.

I tried to rise and run but as soon I stand up I was shot multiple times with the gun. As I slipped away, me and my Sister realized all the wolves around me were males.

I woke in a cell. The bars around me seemed to point that out pretty good. The cell was like a medium sized room. There was a metal bed screwed tight to the floor, the mattress on it very thin and the blanket stuffed under the bed. Except for the bed, the only things in the cage were me, some clothes and a plate of food.

The cage was placed inside a bigger, square shaped room; its silver bars were a meter or two (3-6 feet) from each wall. The bigger room had 2 beds stuffed in one corner, the stairs right beside them and some sofas and chairs here and there, most of them in disarray. Some of them stood around coffee tables but most of them were pointed to the cage, so the person sitting in them had a perfect view on me. Like the man who sat in the chair in front of me, the same one that shot me before.

"Hello" he said, not taking his eyes from me. Since I was in my wolf self I couldn't answer, but I bared my teeth, just a little and looked meaningfully on the door of the cage.

The man chuckled "I don't think so. Who are you?"

I didn't answer. Just sat down like a dog and stared at the man. He sighed in response and shouted on some "Joshua". Joshua turned out to be a wiry man with an evil smile. And a gun in his hand. Both gave me the creeps, and both infuriated and made cautious Sister Wolf. The once-naked man gave Joshua a nod and turned his head to me

"Change. You got two options. Change now, and do as we say and your future shall be nice. If you don't change… Well, let's say I'm gonna leave Josh here. And he likes to play…" As if I needed any more reassurance to his world, Josh's smile turned to a grin.

I didn't know what to do. I was stronger and a better fighter as a wolf but I think Josh had some pretty nasty tortures in mind. Plus I didn't stand a chance if more men would come. I decided to Change.

When I began to Change, both men turned away. I didn't know if it was because I was a woman or some kind of werewolf-privacy thing. As soon as the Change was finished, I grabbed the clothes and quickly scrambled into them.

"I'm done" My voice rang clearly in the quiet room, the loudest thing in it were my panting breaths and my heartbeat. The Change was no easy thing, I'll tell you. My voice sounded like a stranger's voice, I haven't heard it in a long while. Even when I spoke to the stranger on the street to ask where I was, I wrote it down.

Both men turned at the exactly same time. Joshua seemed a bit surprised to see… well, me, there but if the other men was also surprised, he didn't show it. He just looked at me, first scanning my body and face, and then staring into my eyes. I stared back. My Sister shouted on my head I should look away but I've been always too stupid to submit to anyone, especially some stranger who shot me.

The man looked away, rage on his every feature. Joshua looked very surprised and his eyes jumped from me to the man. The man raised his eyes, fury shooting from them like a thunderbolts. He took the gun from Josh, came closer to the cage and shot me, right in my stomach. It turned out it was an electro-shock gun, but it still hurt like hell. My Sister tried to resurface but I stuffed her down. This didn't seem to be the place or the time for her to want shed someone apart.

When I could breath normally again and stand up straight, the man started to talk.

"My name is Floyd. The rules are simple; you do anything I tell you, directly when I tell you, no questions, no doubts, no compromising. Your reward will be your life. If you don't do as I say, you will be shot, probably with silver bullets. Right now I want answers to my questions. What is your name?"

I decided already I disliked this man, but right now, I HATED HIM. But since the aftershocks of the electro shock still force thru my body, I decided to cooperate so far.

"Nea."

"Is that short for your something? Your age?

"Yes, for Linnea. I'm 15."

"Where're you from?"

"Sweden, Europe."

"I know where it is, I'm not stupid!" I disagreed."How long have you been a werewolf?"

"I'm not sure, I don't keep track of the days or even weeks." But I knew it was September when I Changed.

The man –excuse me, Floyd the Ass-holy one- huffed. After that, Josh decided to ask a question.

"Whose are you?"

"Whose?!"

"You know, to whom do you belong."

"No one but myself."

My last answer seemed to anger Floyd even more. He shouted

"He asks who Changed you!! Is that so hard to get?!?!"

To me, it was. I didn't think at all about my "Maker" or how do you call him. He was just… not in my thoughts. I answered sincerely as I watched Josh go back upstairs

"I don't know. He was killed by the police, back home."

Floyd's eyes started to… glow, is the only word that seems to fit. "So you're no ones. No wolves'. You know what it means?"

I didn't, but I was starting to get scared of the look in his eyes. He simply continued.

"You're everyone's property… Everyone's to play with..; and I shall start."

His answer started to really freak me out. When Josh came back, he had… he had ropes and silver handcuffs with him. I knew what reaction to silver werewolves had, I've experienced it myself. As Josh and Floyd opened the cage doors, I backed away from them, as far away as I could. In the process, my foot stomped in the food-plate, but I barely noticed.

Josh and Floyd were very excited. The bulge in their pants only confirming my suspicions I was going to be raped. I thought of Changing, but after being in my wolf form for a long time and Changing rapidly, I was all out of changing-juice, as I called it.

Floyd and Josh came closer, one with the ropes, one with the handcuffs as I tried to reason with them, to some better part of them. I should've known they didn't have a better side.

"Please, please don't! I didn't ask to be Changed, I didn't know this was your… your… turf! If you let me out, I will leave immediately and never return! Please… just let me go…"

I started sobbing and fighting as they grabbed me and cuffed my hands to the headboard of the bed. I was strong, yes, but no match for two adult male werewolves. The handcuffs were also very strong and impossible for me to break.

My first time was not magical, or special, or pleasant, or at least with someone I knew. No. Floyd started to pound into me (which hurt like mother of all pains and hell by the way) until he spilled into me and then Josh made me blow him. At the beginning I refused, but he electro-shocked me again. Hurt just the same, if not worse. So I did it. And then My Sister decided to protect me and shielded me from everything else that happened.

The next month and a half continued like that. On the night of the full moon, Mother Moon sang to me, but I have so much sorrow in myself, I simply lie there as I Change. The only thing keeping me alive is My Sister. She shields me from the most the men do.

Yes, men. After 2-3 days from the first time, I became everyone's property. And apparently I'm the only female in the "Pack", containing 23 males, who are always lusting for more.

My days are a blur. They pass the same way. Men come, do their deed, and go. Sometimes they tie me up, sometimes they beat me up. I have even had a cracked bone or two.

I can't breathe. I can't think.

That last part is a lie. I can think. I think about it all the time. It always seems to be playing inside my mind – a plague of my memory that I cannot escape or cure. If only I could wash away the filthiness that clings to my body. If only I could just be rid of the guilt and shame… but that will never happen. I will never be free from the horror, from the nightmares. I can never escape the hell that my life has become.

And then, after a month and a half, something in me snaps. It's like My Sister bit of the self pitying and wallowing part of me.

Instead I became furious. And Changed. Then, in my wolf form I finally felt safe. Felt a bit calm. I knew it was night, because Mother Moon sang happily to me, like she was happy to see me.

I heard the door open and one of the men went down. When he saw me, he swore quietly and ran up again. He returned with 3 other men ( Floyd among them) and several guns. Floyd ordered me to Change but I only growled at him. I haven't been so furious in a LONG time.

The men raise their guns and fire. I get shit with most if the bullets and electro shots. The bullets are silver and hurt like hell. But I refuse to Change. In this form I at least have got Mother Moon as a companion. They fire again. This time, I'm too paralyzed with pain to avoid some of the bullets.

But I stand my ground.

Floyd swears again and says "You don't Change, you get no food and get shot again. Change now, foolish girl"

My only answer is glaring at the men and baring my teeth even more. The men go away and I limp to the bed. I will not Change, I will not let them win.

The next days are painful. The men come 2-3 times a day and shoot me with electro-shocks in my stomach and other vulnerable places and shoot me with silver bullets in my legs and tail. I'm never fully healed and the lack of food makes it even worse.

One day, when I'm barely standing, Joshua comes with a whip, opens the cage door and start's to hit me. I get furious and it gives me strength. Josh is forced to leave the cage, missing half of his bicep. Even though I'm a bit disgusted with myself, I eat it. Gives you strength.

As the time passes, I become more and more like the most primitive part of my Sister. More wolf, less human.

They are some serious and loud discussions every day, upstairs. So important, that sometimes the men forget to torture me. It's something about a different pack, but I don't care enough to listen carefully.

One day, everyone leaves the property or house; I don't really know what it is. Somewhere after 2-3 hours, I barely, barely hear shrieks and yelps of pain, but some of them are from different wolves. Wolves I have never seen before.

The pack returns, but they seem fewer, like only 10 or 12 now. All of them come down and take out their anger on me. I manage to see most of them have serious wounds, and all have scratches. But it is nothing compared to what I have after they leave. Everything, from a cracked bone in my front leg, to knives in my side and silver bullets.

Great, instead of a sex toy, I've become a punching bag. And I can't even punch back.

The next day, the fight (or what it was) continues. I remember clearly sounds of the fight (it was closer this time) and the body of Floyd, falling down the stairs. After it, comes down a man. He stands in the shadows, so I can't see him, but I can tell he is a were. He calls on the boss and another man comes down. This one is barely clothed, there is only a pair of sweats on him. He too stands in the shadows, and he too is a werewolf.

He lifts up Floyd by the neck and asks him about me. I realize Floyd is still alive, but barely. Damn it! Can't I have a bit of luck in my life?!

"She… She is a wolf we found some time ago… Kind of wild… independent… has a lot of strength…" Floyd pants heavily, his breath is raspy and coming out of his chest instead of mouth. Wow, at least one punctured lung.

The man breaks Floyd's neck and comes closer. I don't have the time to look at his features because I'm too busy growling at him and trying to stand up. Damn it! My wounds haven't healed from yesterday, I had to little nutrition for them to heal. And it is quite hard to stand up with some cracked bones and knives in my side (BTW, it is pretty much impossible to take out knives from yourself as a wolf) .

"My God…" I hear him whisper "look at the will power, Darryl…" The other man comes a bit closer but is still in the shadows.

The man nearest me comes to the cage door, but as I snap at him and bare my teeth, he backs some steps. He shouts "Warren! Bring me the tranquilizer gun!" I hear a response and another man appears with a gun, the same gun that shot me in the first place. I growl even louder and start to move around in the cage.

The first dart misses me, but I don't have the same luck with the following two ones.

As I fall into darkness, I notice the men open the cage door. The last thought going thru my mind is that maybe the American wolves aren't as nice as I thought.

**Had some problem uploading this weekend but I hoped you liked it! Criticism welcome and I'll see you soon! ;) // Martyyna**


	3. Chapter 3: New Place, New People

**Chapter 3: ****New place, new people**

Why do I always have to get shot? The fact that it is the same gun makes it worse. And the fact that I am, AGAIN, in a cage, makes it worse. The manners of American wolves doesn't seem to improve anytime soon.

This cage is a bit different then the cage I was kept in before, but the same in some ways. It had silver bars and was in a basement (or underground, if you want to be specific, I didn't know for sure if it was a basement) so it had no windows and a staircase. Unlikely the other cage and the room it was in, this one was thickly carpeted and the cage didn't seem so cold. There was a little sitting room outside the safe room, and it had the biggest couch I've ever seen, a couple of armchairs and a big-flat TV.

Inside the cage, someone have placed several plates with different food, multiple bottles of water and clothes. The clothes were lying on the bed, along with a neatly folded blanket and a pillow.

As I stood up, I noticed some (okey, all) of my wounds were bandaged or had Band-Aids on them. They have been cleaned and someone had even gone thru the trouble to pick out the silver bullets I had inside me.

I looked suspiciously around the room. There was no one here except for me. I didn't see any camera lenses either. After checking the room I stared at the food. For me, it was simply too good to be true. I limped to the plates and sniffed suspiciously, trying to sniff out poison or any drugs. I found neither in any of the plates. Since I desperately needed the strength, I started to eat.

After eating 2 cheeseburgers, I was full. Really weird, since I could eat even more when I was human. I guess starving for some time makes your stomach smaller. I was thirsty though. And bottles aren't the easiest things for a werewolf. After some fighting with them (and spilling more than half) I was sated, for the first time in a long while.

My next task was to get myself out of here. It wouldn't come without a fight, I could hear there were people upstairs. The biggest problem were however the bars. I glared at them; they were mocking me with their polished shine.

I backed away to the wall farthest away from the door and ran with full force. I smashed at the bars with my full force but they didn't even budge. I got however silver in my wounds and attention from the folks upstairs. I don't know what I disliked the most of those two.

People poured down to the sitting room. All of them werewolves. Some of them sat down at the huge couch or the chairs but most of them simply stood by the wall farthest away from me. Three of the werewolves, the ones that went down last, came closer to the cage. All of them were males and as soon as they took a full step, I started growling and baring my teeth. None of them flinch, or made any other sign they noticed.

One of the men took another steps so he was near the cage and me. Even though I didn't like him, I gotta admit he was very easy on the eyes. Normally, I would have sat down and stared at his face but right now I was too busy with other things. He spoke

"Hello. My name is Adam Hauptman and this is the Columbia Basin Pack" he gestured the other wolves."Who are you, and what were you doing in the rogues cage?" he asked. I didn't answer, just glared. To give him the answers he wanted, I had to Change. And it wasn't an option for me.

He waited couple more minutes. Then he sighed. His eyes turned yellow as he stared at me and said in a voice full of power "**Change**".

It was an order. I had to obey. Or so, Sister told me. I fought against it, as I fought against everything. It made the Change extra, extra painful since it took over half an hour (for me, it usually takes about 15 minutes) to Change. I Changed my body parts kind of back and forth, not wanting to do it. But I was defeated at last, when Sister too forced me to Change.

There I was, crouched on the basement floor, my pulse running wild and my breaths coming like pants. I had to blink several times to get rid of the spots in front of my eyes and not to faint. When I got that under control, I looked up to meet Adam's eyes, my own eyes full of rage and hate.

He didn't seem to notice that, his eyes brown again. He said (this tone without macho power) "Answer"

I simply growled as an answer, though the wolf's growl rising from a human throat kind of creeped me out. After that, I sat, with an unreadable expression on my face, only glaring showing my emotions. Adam turned on his macho power again and asked the same questions.

It was starting to bug me, but I was forced to answer. Though I could manipulate the answer and get under his skin…

" I'm a person, one that doesn't like to be manipulated or forced. What I was doing in there? I was sitting and making brownies, didn't you notice?" the last part I added with some heavy sarcasm and innocent eyes. A wolf furthest in the back smirked but it seemed I just piss Adam off.

"**Your name.**" If you wanted to get technical, that wasn't a question but I answered anyway, just to piss him off. As you noticed, I didn't learn anything of my mistakes.

"It depends where and who you ask. I've been called many names thru my life."

Adam clenched his jaws in anger and released his macho power while he thought. He probably though he was coming nowhere anyway. As soon as he released me, I forced the Change. I was tired and had recently Changed but had eaten so it should have even things out. Well it should have, if Adam didn't realize what I was doing and shouted stop somewhere in the beginning. Unfortunate for me, with his macho power.

It drew me back in my Change while I pushed it on. Sister decided to do nothing. The pain was horrible. It was agony, really. As soon as I cried out in pain, something flashed in Adam's eyes and some woman shouted "OH MY GOD! She's just a kid! Adam, please stop!"

He did stop but his power had already located what it should do. Even though it started to fade quite quickly, it hurt like hell and I couldn't stop the screams. I heard another pair of feet on the stairs. A girl with blue- black striped hair appeared. She was human.

Adam tries to get her to go back upstairs but she says she's a "bit distracted" (sarcasm there on her side) from the noises. I'm a bit occupied so I don't pay too much attention to the conversation.

The pieces I got, make out a bit though. One of the other wolves explain quickly the noise I'm making. Adam glares at the wolf who backs away. My head turns to a fully wolf head now. The girl wants Adam too promise he won't force me to Change again. They stare at each other and Adam promises finally. Wow, the girl can make him see some stuff.

When I finally Change for full, the teenager starts to laugh. She shakes her head and comes closer to the cage.

Oh, she thinks it's funny I'm stuck here. I bare my teeth and growl at her. She pales within seconds and backs away. Adam give some orders and everyone (inclusive the girl) leaves, except for him and the two other wolves that stood by him. He sighs

"As you heard I can't force you to Change anymore. When you're ready, Change and shout. There's always someone in the house. I won't force you."

But apparently, he will try to reason with me.

I got to meet a lot of wolves the next days. All of them trying to convince me to Change and talk with Adam. Right, me and him, we'll just sit down and swap life stories. Hmm, didn't think so.

And so it continued, until the night of full moon. It was so painful, not seeing Mother for over 2 months now. Then, for the first night since I came, a female came to me.

She was tanned and had dark, almost black hair. She also had dark eyed and smelled… kind of dog-like. Not exactly, but something like that.

She told me a bit about her life. She also apologized she didn't "visit" me earlier, apparently she was out of town. When she talked for a while, I realized she was the one to shout that I was "just a kid" the first night. Mercy was nice but got tired when I didn't answer or even made a sign I got what she was saying, the only sign that I was alive growling. She left after midnight but came back after 30 minutes with a dark haired man (not were). He was all polished and of the way he walked, talked and… posed, he could be the poster gay man. I stopped my growling to look at him curiosly.

They chatted some, but I didn't listen. Instead, I thought of some way I could escape from here.

Mercy left again, to get Chinese. I wonder where she would get Chinese at 3.30 am? The man got strict orders not to come within bite range to the cage, nor to open the door at any circumstances.

When she left, he turned on the TV and caught some Buffy rerun. Even though it was pathetic, I came closer to the TV (and the man) to watch it. It was episode Phases, when Oz changed to a werewolf. As I saw him, especially as he looked as a were, I started to laugh and… do I dare to say it… wiggle my tail. The man joined me in laughing and he turned the TV so I had a better view on it.

I looked at him thankfully and grabbed the pillow from the bed to lie down more comfortably. He looked at me with happy eyes and said.

"I've heard you've been quite the trouble for the pack. Especially, Adam." He winked at me "I think it is just funny and a bit charming on your side. My name is Kyle" he waved at me. I smiled a wolfish grin at him and stuck out my tongue like a dog while wiggling my tail.

"Let me guess your name. Okay?" he asked.

He was nice. He was funny, and the first one to ask if **I** wanted to do something. I nodded.

He turned in the couch so he could see me better. "First, how many letters. One, two, three, four…" I nodded eagerly at three "Three? Okay, bark.." I looked at him with a "you wish" look" … or make some noise when I hit the right letter." He started slowly to say the alphabet. When he came to N, I thudded my paw against the floor. And so he continued until he knew my name.

"Nea. Wow, what a cool name! Let's find out more about you… how about… your age? Or where're you from?"

I would have loved to continue play with Kyle, but Mercy came with Chinese food. The sight of her made me snap back to reality and I backed away from Kyle and the TV. The pillow followed with me and was laid back on the bed like it never even moved.

Kyle changed his pose on the couch "Too bad you came Mercy. Before you came, I was getting to know Nea."

She handed him one box full of food and furrowed her brows. "Nea?"

"You know, the wolf girl. What did you think her name was?"

"I didn't know. Nobody did." And she explained the conversation that went on between me and Adam. When she was finished, Kyle was laughing and he almost fell of the couch.

"I'm going to kill Warren for not telling me that story! All I got from him was that Adam had some problems with a new wolf he couldn't get to cooperate."

Mercy put down the food and started to climb the stairs again while talking "It's good someone finally communicated with her. We were starting to get really worried about it. What do you want to drink?"

Kyle shouted after her "A coke would be great!" when she disappeared completely he lowered his voice and asked "Do you like Chinese?? Want some?" he got eager nods on both. I stayed far away while he grabbed a plate and laid out the food on it. When he was finished, he slid the plate as far into the cage as possible and then backed away.

I licked around my muzzle and kidnapped the plate. Soon, I lay near the bed with the plate between my paws and grinning at Kyle. Mercy returned and laughed at the sight of me. I didn't growl, but wiggled my tail instead. She shook her head and sat down.

I haven't felt so great in a long time. My wounds had finally healed and the Chinese food was great. Don't get me wrong, there was nothing wrong with the food they gave me, but it was nothing compared to Chinese. It was literally plate-lickin' good.

But unfortunately, all good comes to an end.

I felt Mother Moon pull away and a couple of minutes later, Adam and a male I recognized as Warren (he had babysitting and talking duties once or twice. They always start with their names) came down. Adam and Mercy kissed, and so did Warren and Kyle.

Wow. Kyle WAS gay. And apparently, so was Warren. They made a sweet couple, though I gotta say I liked Kyle much more.

Mercy and Kyle told their partners what they did and the werewolves looked at me interested. Adam came closer to the bars, almost pressing his face against them.

"You ready to talk to me, little girl?"

I raised my eyebrows at him, and bared my teeth, just barely. Adam backed away, sighing while Kyle laughed. He waves at me as he goes upstairs and I wiggle my tail at him an make a happy bark at him.

It would be nice if he came back. No fear of being raped there.

Adam and Mercy are the only ones left except for me downstairs. I watch the last glimpse of Kyle disappear and when that happens, I go back to my full growl attitude.

Both sigh in harmony and Adam speaks quietly

"Nothing changed there."

I wouldn't hold my breath there either.

**Another Chapter finished. I hope you like it, and if not, I appreciate criticism!**

**Until the next update ;) // Martyyna**


	4. Chapter 4: The Deal

**Chapter 4**

The wolves continued to try communicate with me. I can tell you they didn't have any luck, though I think we made teeny-tiny progress. The progress was the females in the pack.

One or two nights after the full moon when I met Kyle, one of the females came down. She introduced herself as Honey. Honey looked exactly like a professional cheerleader should, with long blond hair and pouty lips. She looked exactly the same as my sister. When she went down that stairs, in her cream colored slacks and a white shirt, I thought for a moment it was my sister.

As soon as I realized my mistake she introduced herself. She even had a small paper full of notes, probably what to ask or so. Too bad she didn't have the time to ask all the questions. Before she could, I got in a frenzy. I stared to throw myself against the cage, growling and spitting. The wolves upstairs must have heard because a man stuck his head down and ordered Honey to go back upstairs. She hurried up the stairs, sending a worried glance at me over her shoulder.

As soon as she was outside again, I stopped. She just looked too much like my sister. So many memories brought back, so fast. If I could, I would pant in my mind from the effort to stuff the memories in the back of my head.

No female came to visit me anymore, except for Mercy. She came quite a lot actually, and I started to tolerate her presence. She could be there, chatting (mostly telling about her day) without me growling. As long as she was on the couch, it was ok. One step closer to the cage; full growling attitude. The other ones got simply growl all the time, everyone except for Mercy and another wolf called Ben.

The reason while I didn't growl at him was because he was European and frankly; he didn't talk. When he got his wolf-sitting duty, he would come down and watch TV, occasionally swearing at it. It was calming in a weird way.

After the Honey-event, I (over)heard some pretty wild discussions about my reaction to her. Was it because she was a female? Maybe because she was a werewolf female? Was I abused as a child? Perhaps it was because she reminded me of someone? Maybe a female had Changed me, and I had an aversion? You wouldn't believe the discussions that went on upstairs. Honey continued to repeat time after time that she smelled sorrow, rage and hurt on me. At last, they decided to send another female down.

They sent a woman with really long black hair and a penetrating gaze; the same gaze my teachers had sometimes. I would guess she was a teacher if I would meet her at the street. After she went down, she sat down, and started to stare at me. I didn't bother to match her gaze with my own; I simply rose to my full glory and stretched my limbs. When my bones had finished cracking, I lay down again. This time, I didn't growl, but my body posture showed her clearly she wasn't welcome and I'd be happier if she left. Instead she started to talk

"My name is Aurielle and I'm Darryl's mate. You know Darryl, the 6 foot tall man?" No idea how tall that was, but ok…"That means I'm high in the hierarchy…" and so she continued to babble on. I didn't show any response to her, my ear didn't even twitch. Finally, she stopped talking and stared at me. She sighed and said quietly "God, you're as damn full of response as some of the kids in my class…" so she was a teacher.

Suddenly, a wild argument started upstairs. Mine and Aurielle's head snapped in the direction of the noise. The argument was about bringing "Warren's boy-toy" to pack business. Kyle was here!! And apparently, Mercy brought him. Man, I started really like her.

Since she was with Adam, she was the Alphas mate (I learned some rules while stuck here), and she decided the rules in the pack while he was gone, like now for an example. And as she continued to fight with the other pack members, Aurielle went upstairs, and Kyle went down.

As soon as he entered, I stopped growling and changed my pose to one of happiness. He looked as good as the last time and he had a bag full of Italian takeout food. My favorite… He noticed my stare and laughed. I barked in response, a happy bark and crawled a bit closer to him.

In the back of my mind, I realized the arguing have stopped in a blink of an eye, the same second I barked. Well, they can all go to hell.

Kyle laid out the food on a paper plate and slid it in a bit. When he backed away, I took it between my front teeth and slid it across the floor to the same place I was before. One thing was sure; I didn't want to scare him. He slumped down on the couch and took out some boxes from the other bag he held. He laughed as he saw my expression. All the seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

"Well, since you liked it so much last time I was here, I thought I could borrow you my collection. But before I put it on, you can answer some questions, ok??" I nodded. Anything to watch Buffy, to get rid of the boringness.

He smirked and took out another object. It was a writing child board. You know, when you write with a special pen, and the board reacts to pressure? He slid it over to me, still smirking and said "You can use your claws instead of the pen, ok? I think it'll be a bit hard for you to hold without thumbs." He grinned at the last part.

My answer was to write carefully on the board. It was quite hard and time craving and it came out wobbly, but readable. I slid the board to him. He took it and read

"No… no sh… no shil… no shit! The first 2 words are "no shit" right?" I nodded. "Okay, no shit shen… no shit sherlu…. No shit Sherloc… Sherlock. It says, "No shit, Sherlock"!" He gasped in fake horror "Young lady! You shouldn't express yourself like that!"

Our game (and 2 episodes of Buffy) continued in some time. I was about to write something on the board, when the discussions upstairs started to buzz again. I listened carefully. Adam was home. And on his way here after he heard the news.

I snatched the board and hid it under the bed, Kyle looking confused at me. Soon he heard footsteps and I started to growl. All the wolves that were inside the house came down. They were about 12, plus Mercy. Most of them didn't go all the way down, just stood on the stairs.

Adam gave Kyle a nod and turned to me. He took 3 steps closer to me. With every step, I growled louder and showed my displease. Soon, my Sister came and I felt my eyes change to wolf. Adam took another step and me and my Sister couldn't stand it. Literally.

We threw our bodyweight where Adam was standing which made him back a couple steps, back where I wanted him. My eyes turned human again and I stared pacing back and forth, never taking my eyes of the pack. Warren took 2 steps to grab the writing board, but he was stopped by Adam's hand and my growl.

With a thoughtful look, Adam walked closer. Sister was on red alert and we both slammed into the cage, my wolf eyes full of fury. When he backed away, Sister did so too, taking extra strength and her eyes with her. He continued to come closer and back away while I snapped at him.

He walked to Kyle and Warren and started to shush something. I didn't bother to listen, there was some other important stuff going on. I only heard the pounding of my heart, its beat faster because of my anger. Finally, after some angry arguments, Adam and Warren stepped back, while Kyle came closer to the cage. He was anxious and a bit frightened.

I stopped pacing as he came closer and lied down instead, my head on my paws, my eyes on his movements. He took another step. And another. And another. And so on, until he was touching the bars. He gave me a nervous smile and I banged my tail against the floor. Warren seemed worried and as he came closer, I lifted my lip to show I didn't approve him. He stopped and glanced nervously on Adam. He was deep in thought, and Mercy answered instead

"Kyle, could you go back before Warren gets a heart attack? It seems our little guest only approves you, and no one else."

Kyle backed away and I gave him a wave with my paw. As soon as he was back with Warren, they both let out a breath and I started to pace again. Adam's gave followed my movements. Finally he said

"Look at her. Some would think she is a wild thing and in no control of her wolf. I say differently. Look at her, especially her eyes. Fully human, they always are. She simply let's her wolf take control sometimes. All her growling, angry postures, ignoring, snapping and throwing herself. It isn't her wolf, it is her! The human in her…" Well, no shit Sherlock. Who else if not me?! "She is fully in control of her wolf. I just don't know why she stays in this form…"

I decided for once to give him an answer. I trotted to the board and wrote carefully on it. After that I slid it towards Kyle, not Adam. Adam tried to get it but I stepped forward, fangs bared and I slid the board away from him. He backed away, clearly amused, and I slid the board again to Kyle.

Kyle picked it out from between the bars and red slowly "It says "Because I wan't too, idiot". Wow, this one is feisty!" Mercy laughed out loud and some of the wolves snickered. I lay down in the middle of the cage, watching everyone.

"But why do you want to?" Adam asked and gestured Kyle to slide it back to me. The board landed right in front of my paws, but I made no movement to write. **None. Of. His. Business.**

While he waited, some of the wolves went back upstairs, clearly bored of the show. Adam continued on waiting, but I didn't move a muscle. At least, he sighed and said

"Clearly, you don't want to tell" Again with the obvious part! "I will however make an agreement with you. Kyle comes here, you two can hang out, but you, Nea, shall stop growling at every single of my wolves and answer the questions. At least, answer some of them. Deal?"

I thought about it. I would love to meet Kyle more often, but I didn't know if he wanted. After all, he had a life.

As if he read my thoughts, Kyle raised his hands in surrender and said "Don't look at me, Nea. I would love to spend more time with you, sweetie, but it's up to you."

I glanced in a rapid motion a him, Warren, Adam and Mercy. My gaze stopped at Honey, who stood right behind Mercy. I started to write on the board. Damn it, it was hard!

When I was finished, I slid the board to Adam this time. He took it and read "Fine, you ass-munch. But only if I don't get to meet Honey anytime soon. It's nothing personal, blondie."

Honey's face reddened a bit after Adam stopped reading. He didn't seem to notice, just nodded.

**In the next Chapter, Nea finally turns human! If you want a preview, just comment! 8) // Martyyna**


	5. Chapter 5: Mother Moon and Questions

**Chapter 5: Mother Moon and Involuntarily Change**

The next two weeks were great. Kyle got to know me better and I got to know him. Even Warren was now tolerated and kind of liked. The only problem, was when they tried to convince me to Change. When they did, I turned around and the communication stopped, until next time. They soon learned to just cut it out.

There was though another, bigger problem. The lack of my Mothers light made both me and my Sister weaker and we fell more and more into apathy. Not wanting to worry anyone (or to be truthful, show a weakness, show I couldn't handle everything myself), I didn't tell a soul. When Kyle came, I was all happy and jumpy, but when he left, I just fell to the ground, totally exhausted by the effort.

The person that noticed something was no one other then Ben. He had wolf-sitting duty for the first time in a while and when he saw me, he furrowed his brow. He looked suspiciously at me and he came closer to the cage, so close he was touching the bars.

My usual response to this, was to growl and snap, since I didn't tolerate anyone touching the cage ( Kyle and Warren were an exception). This time I just tried to stand up but I just wobbled and fell to my side. Kyle left 10 minutes ago and I hadn't got my strength back.

Ben yelled "ADAM! Come here, quickly!" and fumbled with the lock on the cage door.

Adam, Mercy and another werewolf ran down the stairs. I think the other werewolf was a guy called Sam, but I wasn't sure. He never babysat.

As I saw the crowd, I panicked a bit and it gave me some strength. I stood up, but barely and on wobbly legs. I ordered my legs to stop and to move but they refused to listen.

Ben and Adam opened the cage doors and went inside. The other wolf started to look in some bag, in search of something. The bag smelled of antiseptic and other medicines. As I smelled it, I remembered something Sister blocked from me before.

_Joshua, pumping me full o drugs and other medicine… I needed to throw up, but I had a gag in mouth… The smell and taste of vomit in my mouth… Joshua whispering in my ear "You'll never get away, you're too precious to us… Our precious little cunt…" _

As I remembered that scene, utter panic and terror shot thru my body. I could feel his arms… feel the needles… I started to throw myself at anything that was in my way, still on very wobbly feet and barely standing.

Soon, something slid around my muzzle and tightened, making it impossible for me to bite. The panic shot with double force thru my body, the loop on my jaws reminding me of the gag I had. I dimly hear someone's shouting for everybody to back off and feel the loop being slid off. As I realize I'm alone in the center of the cage, with nothing putting pressure on my muzzle I calm down. I fell on my side, my balance entirely rubbed and just lie there, panting heavily.

After a while, I see the unknown wolf go outside and I relax slightly. He takes out his cell and calls someone. In the corner of my eye, I see Mercy come closer and I panic just a bit. She stands still until I've calmed down again and comes closer.

She kneels by me and starts to stroke my head. As a child, I always loved everyone to play with my hair and that simple touch made tears come in my eyes. Thank god they sink into the fur! She strokes my head with slow moves and I relax even more.

Her pats go to my side instead. She frowns as she touches my ribcage and quietly whispers for Adam to come. As he comes, I try to stand up, but Mercy's hands hold me down and I'm too weak to fight. Adam's hands skim down my sides and he too frowns.

"She's thin as if she was starved. Why didn't anybody notice this before?!" he said, his voice coated with fury. The fury made me twitch and fear to sip in. As soon as he notices, he starts making cooing noises and stroke my side. Mercy answers

"It's her fur. It's thick and long, just like fur of the Alaskan wolves we once met. Unless you touch her, nobody sees a difference."

I gather my strength and again try to sit up, or stand if possible. As soon as I move, there are two pair of strong hands holding me down.

The other wolf comes closer but is still not in the cage. He speaks quietly

"According to Darryl and Warren, she gets as much food as she did in the start. It seems like she simply doesn't eat it."

Mercy and Adam look at each other and say in unison "Call Bran"

While Sam (it was his name, apparently) speaks on the phone, explaining the situation, I'm being lifted up by Ben and carried to the bed. It's untouched, just like when I came here, since I mostly sleep on the floor. I've had enough of beds for a lifetime.

Mercy stays by my side, while Adam paces in the cage. Ben runs to the kitchen and returns with a baby bottle, full of water. He and Mercy try to make me drink, but I refuse and spit it out on them. What are they waiting for if they want to help me? I need the moon… can't they see it?

I howl in sorrow when I hear my Mother's voice. It's so beautiful… Something downs down on Sam, who throws the cell to Adam and picks me up. I start to struggle, but man, is he strong!

He (and I in his arms) runs out of the house to the garden. I sigh deeply and drink in the moon's power. It's so sweet but so full of muscle… and it has never felt better to be under Mother's shine.

With ease now, I hop down from Sam's arms and I stand in my full glory, directly under Mother. A howl rises from my throat, one so full of joy it practically sparks. I start to hop with joy and I howl again. Soon, I hear other howls behind me.

It's Sam and Adam, both looking somehow different under the moon. They howl again, though the howl doesn't reach the tunes a wolf's howl does.

I don't know how long I just stand there, taking in the moon glow. Behind me, the other converse

"Oh, it was the bloody moon…"

"Or rather, the lack of it. I would have never thought about it"

"Good thinking Sam"

"I didn't thought of it before she howled. I mean, howling at the moon came to my head. And I realized she hadn't been under the moon for a damn long time."

"Yeah, at least 2 months now."

"Is that how long that… I mean, she have been here?"

"Yep…"

"I can't really say we are making progress with her."

"Come on, it isn't that bad… she lets Kyle in and starts to accept Warren."

"She doesn't have a damn problem with you either, Mercy"

" Whoever she accepts or not, it is fully up to her. Same with the questions, when she doesn't want to answer, she ignores one."

"True."

"Completely true there."

" I however…"

"Shhh…"

"What?!"

"Look at her. She looks so damn powerful right now. She looks like a majestic wolf… so wild, somehow primal, but so beautiful…"

My head snapped at the last of Sam's statement. I growled a bit and earned myself some chuckles.

"She's back to normal, I've noticed. Bloody good, I kind of missed her sharp tongue" Ben smiled at me. I huffed at him and trotted out a bit in the garden.

Could I escape now…

Before I had a chance to do anything, Adam's voice cut thru the silence

"Don't even think about it. I've made some things certain when you went out. You're not going anywhere, at least not now. Come back to the house." I _**so**_ wanted to bite him in the butt.

But I've decided I'll stay here. Okay, decided was a strong word. Mother Moon told me to, and you have to obey her. So I rolled in the grass, enjoying it's feel against my fur. I loved the outside and realized how much I've missed it.

Before anyone could stop me, I chased and caught a rabbit running a bit from here. He was yummy and I ate him all, ignoring the disgusted noises behind me. Then I caught another one and only ate a half. The other half, I brought to Mercy, where I laid it by her feet. She laughed.

I needed to get out the energy out from me so I started to run. Run in big circles around the yard, as fast as I could. The only thing going thru my head was the beat of my heart and the feel of my moving muscles. **This,** it was heaven for me.

I found a puddle in the garden and I stared at my reflection in it. My familiar green eyes stared back at me, though my face didn't look quite the same. I was an entirely black wolf, with the exception of my hind legs, which were white; not all the way, but so I looked like I've walked in a bucket of paint. The white areas started to get smaller though, and I hoped they once would disappear.

My reflection was destroyed by the drops falling from the sky. Rain… I haven't felt rain on me since I left Europe. It felt so good, just to stand there and get soaked.

I heard Adam and Mercy call my name. But I didn't want to go inside… what if I never got to go out again?! Even though Adam & Company have been perfectly nice to me, I didn't trust them. My motto after some stuff back home happened was "Never trust somebody. It makes you weak."

I agreed with it and didn't come when they called after me. Then, I realized; I can't get out now anyway. Why piss them off?

I trotted slowly to the door where everyone was waiting. Before I entered I sighed.

And when I entered, I shot straight back to the basement, it being the only place I knew and felt somewhat comfortable in. I heard sighs behind me.

When I was safely back in the cage, I got a certain tug in me. It was telling me to Change. It was like the pull of the moon, but backwards; it wanted me to be back human. Since I knew I couldn't fight it, I gave in and Changed.

After being a wolf for a damn long time, it was damn hard to adjust again. Walking on 2 legs is hard, I tell ya. When I was clothed (with the clothes they left me the first night, btw) I stretched my human muscles and rolled my head. This form kind of had its perks too.

The door leading to the basement opened and I could smell it was Adam and Mercy. I sat down in a nonchalant pose on the bed, and as soon as they were down, I asked

"Is there a chance I could use a shower around here?"

Both heads snapped up in just a second. Both looked equally surprised. Mercy asked carefully

"Nea? That's you?"

"No, princess Caroline. Of course, it's me!" I'm glad I didn't lose my snappish tongue somewhere. I simply loved it! Adam cleared his throat and said

"Of course there is. If you want, you could just get a room upstairs, they are plenty of them. Follow me, and I'll show you the bathroom."

We went up to the second floor where he showed me a bathroom. As I went up, I glanced around the house. It was mostly smelling of werewolves but you couldn't complain on the décor. It was full of antiques and well matched furniture.

Adam left me in the bathroom after showing me where the towels and clean clothes would be.

It was good to take a shower, it was also a long time since I took one of those. After I shampooed my hair twice, I conditioned it to be able to brush it out.

When I stood in a towel by the mirror (my hair combed out), I realized how much it had grown. Instead of my thumb-long red hair, it was twice as long with a thumb long outgrowth. Damn it! It looked horrible. Luckily, I found a pair of scissors in the drawer by the sink and was able to cut it short, short. Shorter than before.

After I was finished with my hair, I looked at the scissors in my hand. Without me thinking more about it, I slid it harshly over my arm. Old habits die hard and after I've seen the blood, I remembered why I did it. Too bad the wound closed almost directly, damn the werewolf healing!

I took in my entire form and realized I didn't look quite healthy. I've always been quite round, a teeny bit plump but not fat. Now I was only skin and bones, so much that my skin hung loosely on me and all my bones were very visible.

I checked my body again and saw all the scars I had, most of them from the other pack. All my scars crossed each other and it looked like a child's drawing. I felt a sob building up and I fought it down. Instead, I opened the wardrobe full of clothes and picked out some underwear, black jogging/comfy pants and a long-sleeved blouse. The most of my body was covered now.

As I did the different actions, I heard more and more wolves gathering. Adam must have called them. I just hoped he called Kyle too.

I took a deep breath and made a promise in my mind, to myself and Sister. 2 hours, MAX, before I Change again and go back to the way it was. I didn't need any more problems. I opened the door and went down.

I entered the kitchen where everybody had gathered. As soon as I entered, everyone's eyes went to me and all chatter stopped. I localized the fridge, and since I was damn thirsty, I took out a carton of orange juice and drank from it.

Adam groaned

"Glass! Not from the carton! Another person to break from that hideous habit…" I smirked at him and drank some more.

What can I say. I love to irritate others!

A person in the back cleared his throat. As soon as I turned, Kyle squeezed the hell out of me for a second or two because I wiggled out of his grip. The close touch made me panic a bit since I felt trapped inside. Since I was in a room full of werewolves, I knew they noticed.

Kyle smacked his mouth in a very annoying noise before he said

"Well hon, I gotta say; you're only skin and bones! And that hair! It looks like you've cut it yourself…"

"I did Kyle, so it is no big surprise" I answered him before I hopped on the counter and pretended I didn't see Adam, who showed me clearly to hop down. He could handle it.

"It looks horrible! I'm sorry to say, but I don't see a future for you as a hairdresser or cutter! Or beautician for that part…"

"My GOD! I'm heartbroken, you just shattered my greatest dream!" I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Adam took the chance to butt into our conversation

"What did you wanted to do with your future?" I didn't answer him. Just stared, my face expressionless, at the cabinet behind him. Mercy tried to save the situation

"Nea, could you answer some questions for us? We all have a couple…dozens, questions…"

I answered truthfully

"You can ask, but I don't promise to answer. If you push, at any question, the chance of me answering is even slimmer, especially to the next questions."

She and Adam nodded, glancing at the pack. Suddenly, no one had a question. Ben was the brave number one

"Umm… little girl" that earned him a glare from mr "where are you from?"

Everyone nodded and stared. I sighed

"From Europe, don't ask which country, cos' you're not going to get an answer to that."

Ben looked curiously at me and tilted his head. Adam took the next question

"How old are you? You never answer when Kyle asked"

All he got as an answer was silence. He sighed and asked another question

"How long have you been a werewolf?"

I didn't let my face pale as it wanted.

"8 full moons."

The questions began to flood then. Here are some of the ones I **didn't ** answer.

"Who Changed you?" Silence on that one.

"What pack did you belong to before you came here?" Silence.

"Why do you hate Honey?"

"What kind of education do you got? What grades do you have?"

"Did you left any family back home?"

The pack learned soon that I only answered impersonal questions.

"Your favorite color?"

"Black"

"What is that hole by your lip?"

"I had a piercing. I had to take it out because it was silver and hurt like hell."

"Did it hurt to make it?"

"Only a bit."

"What music do you like?" That one came from Sam. I just smirked

"I can assure you it is none you will approve."

"Is Nea short for something?"

"If I'll tell you, you'll look up where I lived."

And so it continued.

After an hour (which of 45 minutes I sat silently) I decided I had enough. I hopped of the counter and walked out of the room, ignoring all the shouts and questions. I went down the stairs to the basement and sat myself on the huge couch. It was really comfortable! I turned on the TV as loud as possible and Changed.

I didn't want anyone to hear the noises I make while I Change.

When I was done, I watched the news a bit and finally crawled under the couch. It was cozy there. The TV made the noise coming from upstairs to quiet to hear. Glad of that, I fell into sleep, Mother Moon watching me from a distance.

**How are you liking it? **

**Unfortunately won't be able to update as often (a lot of work), but I'll give my best to Update as soon as possible! // Martyyna**

**P.S. When you review, you only get a preview of the next chapter if I haven't updated in minimum 3 days. Love, Martyyna**


	6. Chapter 6: Unforgettable Day

**Chapter 6: Unforgettable day**

The next days passed in the same pattern. I would sleep in my wolf form on the couch (or under it), during the day I would listen to the other wolves trying to "socialize" with me while I ignored them, Kyle would come, the wolves would go, and we'll have some fun. 1 of 8-9 times, I would Change when he came, to be able to discuss with him. When he left (usually in the middle of the night) I would take a run in the garden and be back before the dawn.

Though I managed to get a schedule, you could call it that, I didn't trust the other wolves (or coyotes for that matter). They continued to be nice, and talk, but you never knew. Kyle wasn't actually trusted either. I simply genuinely liked him.

One day stuck out a lot from the usual pattern and bored deeply in my mind. When the dawn started to come with big steps, and I was about to go in, I realized I was bored like hell. I didn't do anything around here, merely… lived, took up space. I didn't communicate with the otherworld, or did anything. I decided to watch the sun rise today, so I had more time to think.

I Changed, then out clothes on me. And after that, climbed up to the roof.

As I sat there, on the top of it, I realized what beautiful view Adam had. You could see the river and the rising sun looked magnificent. As the sun rose, I smiled. It's beams shined in my face and make a delicious warmth spread in my face.

I heard someone shout and run around in the house. I tuned it out, the sun was much more interesting. I smelled more wolves arrive, Ben and Warren among them. Mercy arrived to. They started to sniff and I felt Mercy Change to a coyote. You got goose-bumps of the energy her Change projected.

I lifted my lazy ass as Kyle arrived. He here? At 7 a.m.? Damn, something serious must be happening. I stopped ignoring all the noise and listened. They were discussing my disappearance.

As soon as I heard, I began to guffaw with no control. They thought I had run away! The discussions downstairs silenced and one of the windows opened. Kyle's and Adam's heads poked out. I waved and started almost to roll with laughter. In the process I almost fell of the roof, but after seeing their faces; it would be worth it.

Adam clenched his jaws; he was irritated like hell. Kyle's head disappeared and Darryl's head came instead. He glared at me and ordered me to get down. I just smiled and lay back on the roof. The tiles was starting to get warm, it way May after all. Adam said thru clenched teeth

"Nea, don't push it! Get down, NOW!"

Well, wasn't he a party pooper. I sighed and slid down to the roof edge where I jumped down. I bend my knees so I didn't hurt them. When downstairs, I turned around to see an angry pack and amused Mercy, Kyle, Ben and Sam (I know Ben and Mercy are pack, but still). I gave them an innocent smile and my best puppy eyes.

I saw most of the wolves soften their expression, and Kyle made some "Awwww" noises. Ben just smirked while Mercy stifled a laugh. I can tell you, I can look very sweet sometimes. The behavior is another matter.

Adam growled "What were you doing up there?". I blinked a couple times and said in a very innocent voice

"Sunbathing. Every girl must do that sometimes." Mercy and Kyle leaned on each other so their laughter would not be as loud. Honey bit her lip in the back to hide the grin.

Adam looked a bit lost and confused and I **just had to **continue

"You know, it's kind of like having your period…" Adam looked scared and utterly lost. I saw more wolves cover their faces or bite heir lip to hide their amusement. Mercy's and Kyle's laughter could be heard from many miles, I'm sure. I bit down my smile and carried on

"Although, I forgot… you haven't experienced that problem, haven't you? I've always thought it was unfair, the woman gets cramps, periods, labor, pain in the breasts after breastfeeding, menopause… What does the guys get? A hard on?"

Adam looked a bit ill and like he wished he never asked me what I was doing. Well, his fault. By now, all the wolves were shaking from laughter, while Mercy and Kyle practically rolled on the ground.

Adam gulped and said

"Why didn't you tell me, or somebody at least, that you were outside? We were about to go on a search after you."

My sweet-innocent behavior disappeared in a second

"BECAUSE! I have no responsibility to tell you anything! You can't control me! AND, OH a search! So worried I'll disappear?! Yeah right, maybe in another world! Why do you keep me anyway here?! I can't do anything, I just waste air and place! WHY?!"

I panted with anger and frustration. I just wanted to Change and run thru the woods while I tear something apart. The good mood that was around the pack 2 minutes ago, disappeared like it was never there.

Kyle and Mercy tried to take a step closer but I growled as if I were a wolf. Kyle looked hurt as if I stabbed him. This was the first time **ever**, that I snapped at him. I immediately felt ashamed. He haven't done anything wrong.

I turned to him and said quiet, in almost a whisper "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

Adam started to talk slowly like I was 3 or mentally handicapped

"Nea, we, or I, are responsible for you. You aren't an adult, though you refuse to tell us your age. You are also a werewolf which adds another boundaries. I cannot let you just run around in the streets."

I snorted in a very unfeminine way "Yeah, so instead you keep me trapped here! I cannot do it!"

I started to pace and roll my shoulders. GOD, I just wanted to run… to stretch out my muscles… to be free… but NOOO! Mother Moon had decided to keep me here, Adams keeps me here and it seems he and his pack are the lesser evil of the American packs. Too add some more, the Moon was coming in just few days which made me even more restless. And what would I do during the Moon?! I would lie in the basement or run in the garden!

Mercy and Sam talked quietly to Adam "Think about it! She's been a free wolf for at least 6 months, a real free wolf, utterly wild. Then she comes here and experience, what? We don't even know that!"

"You can't expect her to just be like everybody else, she is still wild on the inside! She perhaps always was… anyway, you can't bring a wild wolf to the zoo and expect it to be tame as a dog!"

"True! Personally, I think she is amazing for holding out so long!"

"It isn't my fault! And we have asked about what happened, she refuses to tell us!"

"We don't blame you, we just state the facts!"

I paced even faster and rolled my head. The uneasiness was stuck in me, like a plague… I spoke up

"I'm not stupid, I realize you won't let me go. Why, I'll probably never know, but DAMN IT! I have to do… DO… DO SOMETHING!" I started to pace even faster, my frustration growing.

Kyle cleared his throat and all eyes turned at him

"Well, if you don't have a specific thing you want to do… I could take you shopping and after that you could come to my office. We won't be long there, just an hour or so."

_Shopping_… I haven't shopped almost since I Changed back home. The alternative sounded great to me and I looked expectantly at Adam

He smirked and said

"Fine, I'll let you go on two conditions. One, a wolf of my choice follows with you. Two, you tell us at least a **bit **about your past. Deal?"

I thought about it. A shopping day with Kyle… sounded great just to get out of here…

"We have a deal, BUT I have a veto right on any 5 wolves you choose."

"Fine. Now come in and tell us about you. It has to be now, so you don't ignore me and my questions later on."

Fuck! The glimpses of my past haunted me but I nodded and walked in. I was officially in deep shit.

**I know, short chapter but I'll try to update soon. For you, who complained about me "bribing"; it isn't called bribing, it is encouraging and advertising ;) // Martyyna**


	7. Chapter 7: The Past and Shopping

**Chapter 7: The past and Shopping**

"I wasn't to make something perfectly clear before I start. I want no pity and no tears. If I get any of the above from you, I will stop right away and I won't start again. If you want to show any feelings for my story, get the hell out to express them. Understood?" I asked as I sat down. I hated pity above all, even above liars and cheaters.

Adam nodded and made a glare at his wolves. I sighed and he said

"We accept these terms. Kyle however does not count, and we are not responsible for his feelings. We also want to be able to ask questions"

I nodded in agreement and begun my story.

"As you know, my name is Nea. It is actually short for Linnea. I belong to no pack, and so it has always been. Shall always be too. I was Changed, my attacker killed by the police, I healed, I Changed, I stayed around for some time, went here, traveled across the country, got captured and held against my will by the other pack and brought here. So, there's my life story. Kyle, can we go now?"

Adam shook his head. "This was not the deal."

I narrowed my eyes and glared. "You said a bit. This is a bit. You only got questions left to answer."

"Where are you from? We all still wonder."

"From Sweden, though you shouldn't dare sing ABBA because of that. I'll answer another of your questions before you ask: I'm 15, and I was Changed at 14.

"Damn, I knew I recognized that accent somewhere. Your family?" Ben asked

"I have a family in Sweden; two sisters, my mother and a stepfather. I've left…"

"What about your father?" Honey interrupted me.

"I don't have one."

"What do you mean? You must have one!"

"Just because you donate sperm, it does not make you a father. I don't have a father. I would never give him the credit or acknowledge him as my father. As for the one whose chromosomes I carry, he and my mother divorced when I was 3. He always hated me, and I returned the favor."

Adam smirked and a wolf in the back whispered "Wonder why…"Honey blushed and asked, this time quietly "Why did you hate me?"

"Anyway, I hated you because… frankly, because you look exactly like my sister. Maybe, a few years older…" My voice trailed off, though it wasn't trailed with sadness or sorrow.

Adam, Darryl, Warren, Sam and Mercy looked awkwardly at each other. They cleared their throats one after one. I at least knew what they were going to ask, but why spare the awkwardness?

Adam shifted in his seat and said

"When… What… How… I mean… You know…"

Sam was the one to complete the question

"How were you treated by the other pack?"

"Worse than I wanted to."

Sam looked panicked at Warren and Darryl and I decided to spare them. With a cold face, and an even colder voice, I said

"Yes, I was raped." Mercy got tears in her eyes and ran out. Honey and Adam followed after her, Honey's eyes also filled with tears. Ben clenched his teeth. Before they could ask further questions, I said

"No, I don't need a councilor. No, I **refuse** to talk about it with any of you, in detail or not. **Bug of**."

Adam returned with Honey, and Warren went out

"I want some answers about it. When were you first sexually assaulted, by who?"

"The first time over all?" He nodded "When I was 8, at my birthday, by my stepfather." Shock crossed his eyes and almost one third of the wolves went out. Apparently, my story was horrible to listen to. I heard Kyle gasp and his hand slid to hold my shoulder. Sam looked utterly pissed and walked outside to Mercy.

Adam was very pissed, though his voice was dangerously soft

"You were raped by your stepfather at the age of 8?!"

I shook my head and my voice was absent of emotion when I answered "Not raped. Rape and sexual assault are different things. You asked for sexual assault, not rape."

Kyle hugged my hand instead and I swear I saw a tear slid down his cheek. Some of the wolves shifted uncomfortable in their seats and looked like they wanted to be far, far away. Adam shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine, rape then."

"By the man whose neck you broke downstairs. Unfortunately, I don't remember the date, hope you can forgive me." I answered sarcastically.

One of the wolves looked like he wanted to hug me, and took a step before Adam showed him the door. No pity.

The questions continued for another minutes before everybody was too awkward to even look at me. All of the questions were answered by a cold unemotional voice, and that seemed to creep out everyone the most. What did they expect? Tears, and sobbing, and weeping? Didn't think so.

Adam finally decided it was too much at once and out the end to it all. As soon as he said the magic words, I had Warren, Kyle, Mercy and some other wolves were instantly by me, Kyle and Warren crushing me while others shed tears, pet my head like I was 6 again and many other stuff. I growled lightly and slid out from all the grips "**Don't.**"

Kyle continued to hold my hand while the rest made me some room. He stretched a bit, and said

"Wanna go shopping now?" I nodded and smiled at him.

Adam looked up at me "Ben can follow with you. I believe he is available today, right?" The last part was to Ben, not me and Ben nodded. Adam stood up and took out a credit card from his wallet.

"The pin is 13-13. Use it as much as you want, to buy anything you want. Don't forget some necessary stuff though, like a wardrobe for you." He gave me the card and a look that said "Don't overstep the line, though". I winked at him and took the card before he could regret himself. Kyle smiled and put his arm around my shoulders.

Kyle said his goodbye-s and I just waved as we went out. Ben followed.

"I call the front seat!" I yelled as I hopped in a car that smelled like Kyle from miles away. Ben started to protest but Kyle and I ignored him. The mall was coming…

I didn't know where Adam lived, but it didn't took long to get to the mall. As I jumped out of the car I took a deep breath. So many people, so many different lives, smells, and shops. I don't remember the last time I was in a mall, but me and my friends always had a blast while going to the shopping centers in southern Sweden, like Väla, Center Syd or Triangeln (**A.N: I actually love these malls, there's no better place on the Earth**).

Kyle slammed the door to the car and he came to stand next to me

"What do you want to shop?" He took out a small notebook and a pen "But at first what you need. Underwear, clothes, **definitely** a haircut, some makeup… That's the necessities. Then maybe something so your time won't go so slowly for you, like some books, maybe some art supplies… an I-pod if you like music. You like music? And I have to check on some stuff and I promised Caroline I would step in to her store…" he continued to chatter happily and write more and more in the notebook.

I stepped back and Ben walked up next to me. He looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't. He just put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me a bit. I arched my eyebrows and looked at him. He pretended to not see it and we just stood there for maybe a minute before it became too much and I took a step to the side. Ben looked at me with pity and I glared.

Kyle brought the both of us from the situation by dragging me (literally) to a huge hair studio. As soon as we entered the door, there was a swarm of people around us. I take it that Kyle is a regular here. The swarm of men and woman returned to their clients except for a plump woman who smacked her lips and looked at me

"Kyle, hon, you're friend looks a bit thin. Not feeding her, are we?" I gotta admit, I still looked starved, even after 2 weeks of big meals. The woman continued "How old is she, hon? How does she know…"

I interrupted her

" `She´ is standing here and doesn't like when people talk as she is not there. I'm 15 and I know Kyle by our mutual friend, Mercy." Kyle winked at me and the woman laughed. She put her hands on her hips and said

"Ooh, Kyle I love this one. She's feisty and that will get her a long way… Your name, sharp tongue?" She smiled at me and hugged me when I answered. Kyle introduced her as Adianca and Ben continued to lurk in the shadows. Well, that before Adianca forced him into a chair and got one of the other stylists to cut his hair while I and Kyle picked a hairstyle for me. Ben looked truly pained and while I and Kyle had a good laugh.

At last we picked a hair and decided to color it a purple color. Kyle and Adianca protested like hell but my mind was set and they gave up. (**A.N: The link to a picture, though the hair should be purple and a bit shorter: ****.**) After the visit, we went to all kinds if stores, where Kyle tried to convince me to buy some clothes. Yuck! They were all pastel colors, and like… girly. I refused and he just bought clothes for himself at Armani and D&G. I gotta say, that man's got taste!

Finally, I found a small store, jammed between a jewelry store and a spa where I bought my wardrobe. Mmm… all black, with some colorful drainpipes and details. Kyle actually cried when I went out with several shopping bags. I took my bags, his bags, and shoved them at Ben who took them with pained expression.

We continued to walk around, chattering when I stopped, absolutely mesmerized at the sight of the display of a Tech Store. The newest MacBook Pro… 17 inches, High-performance NVIDIA graphics combine with a vivid LED-backlit display, simply a dream…

Kyle watched my expression with amusement.

"You like that toy, hon?"

I glared at him "**TOY?!** Did you say "toy"?!"

Kyle laughed "I take that as a yes."

I nodded and forced myself to go away. The MacBook was a dream, one I was about to receive back at home. I've gotten a scholarship which covered all technical expenses, which meant computers. It was the thing I regretted leaving most, except for my friends.

The rest of the mall continued in a blur, my mind on the Notebook. I resurfaced when we drove to Kyle's office, the car packed with several bags full of clothes and makup. I even got an I-pod (thanks to Kyle who ignored my protest), tons of books and a full set of art supplies.

Kyle's office was an luxurious office suite where we were greeted by his staff. He said we were going to be in for just a second and the folks disappeared. Looks like Kyle was popular everywhere he went. As he checked up on some stuff, I changed (clothes not form) in a bathroom and sat down by a computer.

This was the first time I sat down at one since I Changed and it felt great. I checked my mail to find over 8 000 emails, mostly from my friends. They knew I checked my mail at least once a week since I was 8.

I logged out without checking the content of them. It could wait. Instead I checked old newspapers to see if police found anything about my disappearance. Nothing as it turned out, but it also turned out my mother didn't even report my missing. My friends did, and my mother said I left a note saying I am going away. That was quoted all over the newspapers, along with "She has made up her mind. Who am I to force her?".

I didn't expect my mother to cry and all, but as she said it in a taped interview, I felt tears spring to my eyes. I quickly cleaned the history and shut down the computer before I ran to the bathroom. Ben shouted something to me but I just ran. When in the bathroom, I locked the door and became pissed instead.

Damn my mother to be able but me out of balance when she was thousands miles away!

Ben banged on the door but I ignored him and Changed. I don't give a fuck what everybody said, the wolf kept me calm and gave me security. I managed to lock up with my paws and Ben nearly fell inside. He looked surprised at me, but picked up my clothes, stuffed them in a bag and shouted to Kyle that he and I were going outside.

Kyle looked confused, but looked at me and said he will be out in 15 minutes. Ben pressed the elevator button, but I refused to go in. He opened the staircase door instead and I was out in a flash.

Damn my mother… for never caring, and never realizing that her actions hurt… Damn my father, for being a prick, for finding that slut of his when I was 3… Damn my life…

Maybe it was true what my family, maybe it would be better if I was never born? Would everyone have it easier, better?

I was so deep in thought I didn't see the door and just smacked right into it. Damn it! Now I looked like a fool too.

Ben came running after me, though he didn't laugh when he saw me lying there. He just sat down next to me and straightened out my limbs so I would lay more comfortably. I could do it myself, but it felt nice that somebody else took care of me. He started to pet my head and hum a song. The touch and the melody made me relax. As he started to sing instead, I realized it was "God, save the queen" and I closed my eyes. Just relaxed…

Until I fell asleep.

I remember very dimly as Ben lifted me up, complained I was still too thin and carried me to the backseat where I slept thru the whole ride. It felt good, like the talks and my mother had drained me of my energy and I was loading up on it.

When I woke up, I was under covers on a bed in Adams house. The room smelled like Ben, Warren and some other wolves. It must be frequently used by the pack. I slid out of the covers and realized I was still a wolf.

Uneasy, I slid out from the bed and crept to the door. There was a discussion outside

"She should go to a councilor, a psychologist, something!"

"Like you did, right?"

Someone snarled angrily

"Fine, sorry!"

"Did you found out anything about what she was checking on the computer?"

"No, she removed all history and shut down the computer afterwards. It is impossible to receive that data now."

"Damn it! I thought you were a computer geek!"

"I know computers, yes. But I'm not a super good hacker, an average one actually!"

"But you managed to get some secret information before!"

"It wasn't that secret and I got help from a friend. He is gone from the Webb now, so no hope there."

"Back to the point, I think Nea should talk to somebody!"

"You heard her. She refuses, and I shall not force her. She has been forced to enough stuff already."

"I think she is starting to trust the pack, well, some of us."

I went out from the room, and made a wolf-snort. I didn't think so. Sam, Ben, Darryl, Warren, Mercy and Adam were sitting in the living room, and most of them looked ashamed as I came into sight. I glared at them, before running out to the other part of the house.

"She can't run away! Somebody stop her!"

That was not my intension, but ok… I raced with full speed to the cellar, only to be met by a closed door. I glared at the folks, and Adam asked

"You want to go back there? Are you sure you don't want to have your own room?" I growled and forced Sister to the front. That will get them moving, to get me as soon as possible downstairs.

Well, would, if my Sister decided not to cooperate. She forced me to the front and I struggled to get her in the front. She was stronger, but I was more clever. And more stubborn.

Adams voice cut thru the silence "You can stop forcing your wolf to the surface. If you want to go downstairs, fine." And he opened the door, which made me run like a lightning downstairs.

When downstairs, I was really pissed. They wanted to force me to go talk to a stupid councilor! When I said I refused!

In rage, I started to toss my body at everything around me. I didn't feel difference between the concrete wall, the cage bars or the couch. I shredded the carpets and destroyed the writing board I got from Kyle. Finally, when shreds of it got stuck in my body and I suspected I broke a leg when it was stuck between the silver bars, I stopped.

I felt like I was a balloon and someone had poked me with a needle so all air went out. I felt tears come to my eyes

Couldn't **somebody** care what I wanted? What I needed, not clothes and stuff, but affection and love… apparently it was too much.

I clenched my jaws and tore my leg from between the bars. The pain made a sound come out of my throat and I was definitely sure it was broken now. The fact it was limp and… hanging, proved so much.

Adam, Sam and Warren went down. I glared at them, and despite the pain, I growled and took a step on my 3 legs. The right back was broken, though all of them had pieces of the board in it. It hurt, but I've been thru worse.

Adam tried to take a step but I was close to biting a piece of his hand. He and the two others wolves continued to try, but I didn't let them too close.

Finally, Adam sighed, and called on Darryl. Darryl appeared almost instantly, and when he was downstairs, Warren and he exchanged a look.

And then they lunged at me. I didn't manage to escape, but they were both bitten several times before they managed to pin me to the ground. Adam helped them to hold me down (he held my head) and my struggles were useless. I continued to try though.

Sam came with his bag. Damn, I hated that bag. He started with picking out pieces of the board. Some of them were deep or partially healed and he had to dig. It hurt like hell and the wolves looked like they despised themselves for doing this to me. Darryl was the one to snap

"Can't you give her some painkillers?! The noises she makes make me feel like I am torturing her!" Aww, poor you. As soon as **I** stop feeling this damn pain, I'll try to find you a lollypop.

I glared at him and started to trash even more when Sam took out a syringe. **No. Fucking. Way.** I managed to get one of my legs free and I kicked Darryl in the knee. He fell on Warren who let me go and soon I was free of Adam too. I went as far as I could from them, but I had no chance of going up the stairs with my leg.

My sister came along with the pain but since I refused to give up control, we both had one eye. We glared at the men and growled. No times for games now.

Adam came closer with his arms raised and making cooing noises but that didn't calm me. I could smell my rage in the air, it was there along with the pain. Sam called my name, and when I turned, he showed me the syringe was gone

"No needles" he said. He tried to come closer but nearly lost a finger. He looked meaningfully at Adam who spoke with a voice full of power

"Nea… Linnea…" My head snapped involuntarily to him. "Linnea, come here to me, no biting…" My legs started to move towards him, even when my mind shouted for them to stop. "Stop growling, calm down." I did immediately as he said. Damn it!

In a few seconds, I was in front of him, my pain in the back of my mind because Adam said I should come. And that was the most important thing in the world.

I tried to snap out of this… trance, or what was it but couldn't. I was barely, barely there but couldn't break thru.

Soon, I was lying patiently and quietly by Adam, while he stroked my head and sides.

"Shhh… Calm down, deep breaths…" I did exactly as he said and soon my Sister slid into background. When Sam came closer, I tried to move but Adam held me down. It felt like I was weakened by the lack of the moon, but I was strong now. Yet something was holding me down and it wasn't just Adam's hands.

Sam picked out the last pieces of the board, but when he looked at my leg, he said "I can't fix her leg now. She'll have to Change, and you promised Jesse not to force her."

Adam clenched his jaws and I moved slightly. I had no intention of Changing, not in front of all these males (**werewolf** males) if someone didn't force me.

Adam looked at me and said

"Everybody go outside. And close the door after you." When it was only he and I left, he released his power over me. I stood up as fast as I could with the broken leg and backed away.

He gave me a dry smile "So stubborn, are you? You would spare a lot if you would just Change now. You have to, otherwise Sam can't fix your leg and it will grow wrong. He is a doctor, not a vet. You would spare a lot of pain for others too. Mine, because I don't like to force anyone, despite what you may think. Sam's, because he will feel guilty like hell. Mercy's, Ben's, Kyle's… My daughter's. She will hate the fact that I broke my word…" He continued to chat, while I reconsidered.

I guess he was right. I had to have my leg fixed. It was simply good that nobody else except for him was here.

Adam shut up as I started the Change. Fuck! It hurt horribly with my leg broken. I rolled into a ball of pain, since I refused to make a sound. When I was finished, I felt some cloth being laid over my form. Adam's shirt. I quickly took it on, but Adam had time to notice my scars.

Another secret revealed. I glared as he said.

"We will talk later. Let's get your leg fixed now; SAM!"

Sam came down with Warren. I was glad, I would not handle even one more straight guy when I was like this, hurt and almost naked. Sam gently examined my leg before warning

"This will hurt." And he snapped my leg back into the socket with a crunch.

"Hurt" wasn't the right word. It was pure pain and I started to swear eagerly as Warren and Adam held my arms

"**OH FUCK! Cholera jasna, kurwa mac, helvetes skit! Jävla hora, förbannande as, ja pierdole!**" My curses continued in different languages as Sam checked so the leg was right. Adam and Warren looked a bit lost but Sam bandaged my leg tightly which only increased the pain. When he was finished, Adam and Warren finally let me go. I slumped against the wall, panting heavily.

"You shouldn't Change in a while, give it a day or so. You shouldn't stand on that leg for like… 2, maybe 3 days with your healing. It was a damn advanced brake and we wouldn't want to repeat that, right?" I glared at him, wishing my look could kill.

Sam ignored my look, and went upstairs with Warren. I shifted myself so I would lay against a pillow. Adam looked at me with eyes full of concern. I snapped

"Oh, cut it out. You don't have to draw that "Oh, I'm so concerned"-act on me. You barely know me, you can't worry about a stranger."

Adams look scared me a bit though I will never admit it. It was a long while since someone had cared what happened to me. And the best way to hide fear or sorrow? Anger.

Adam wasn't ruffled by my words and said calmly

"You just proved I can. I just think you didn't have an easy childhood, or life. Sexual assault, no good relation to your father, or mother it seems, being Changed, running away here just to be raped… it couldn't be easy."

I glared into these calm eyes

"If you expect me to cry, or have an emotional breakdown, don't."

Adam sighed and picked me up into his arms. I protested loudly.

"I won't let you stay here in this cold basement when you are human and hurt. I like your hair, by the way. It reminds me of my daughter's." I growled as he mentioned his daughter. He ignored me and carried me as gently as he could up the stairs and thru the door so I didn't touch it. To be honest, it was damn nice that somebody cared. No force would make me admit that, though.

Adam carried me to the room I slept in before. He laid me on the bed before he opened the wardrobe. It was full of the stuff I bought before. He started to search thru it before he found a t-shirt and an oversized sweat shirt. Adam threw both on the bed next to me before he continued his search. He gave up after a while and asked

"Did you buy anything else to have on your legs except for these damn tight jeans? Like a skirt, or sweatpants?"

"There should be a neon green skirt somewhere around there. But I need leggings if I'm gonna have the skirt. They are laying on the second shelf, I can see it from here." Adam held up the skirt

"I this the skirt you mentioned?" I nodded "It shouldn't be called a skirt, more like a… loincloth." Okay, the skirt was a miniskirt but that was an exaggeration.

Adam shook his head, threw the skirt and a pair of black leggings on the bed and went out. While he went he said

"Change, I think you'll be more comfortable in those. Call me when you're done."

Changing the clothes was not easy with my leg, but I managed.

I yelled "Adam!"

He was by my side in seconds. "Yes? Oh, you're finished. Come on, let's get you some food"

He carried me again, this time to the living room, where he put me on a fainting couch. I could tell of the looks of it, that it was antique. The house was very quiet as Adam went to the kitchen, and returned with 2 plates full of sandwiches. I think it was only we and maybe 2-3 other wolves.

I ate and when I was finished I asked

"Why do you do it?" Adam looked surprised at me. I usually didn't start conversations, even less asked questions. I believed in the rule that if you asked someone, someone could ask you. He finished chewing before he asked

"Do what?"

"You know. Being nice to me, carrying me around, giving me medical support when I need it, buying me stuff, taking care of me… Giving me food and shelter. Even letting me go outside, mostly because I enjoy it. What's in it for you?"

He looked at me, his eyes with golden spots and his voice sad but angry

"You really aren't used to people doing something to be nice, just to be nice, are you? To be honest, I do it because I can. I'm in a position where I can help you, when you've been thru so much, and I don't know why I shouldn't help you."

"It's not like you know me. I don't understand why you would help an absolute stranger, to let her into your house and treat… treat like she meant something to you."

"You do mean something to me. You're a person which means you shouldn't be treated like you were. But you are also a wolf, and a very stubborn and dominate one. I take care of wolves in my territory, even if they don't belong to the pack. Except for that; you're just a teenager, but that doesn't make you an adult. You've been thru so much, and you deserve at least a second chance. It is my pleasure if I can help you, even just a bit."

Then he took the empty plates and walked away.

Damn, now I have something to muse deeply about.

**FanFiction is being crazy, I couldn't upload all, until now. I would love to hear what you thought so review away! There will be an update as soon as possible, if only FanFiction won't sabotage ;) //Martyyna**


	8. Chapter 8: A lesson in Wolfology

**Chapter 8: A lecture in wolf-ology**

I got bored with just sitting there on the fainting couch in less than 10 minutes. I started to think about things I could do, and let me tell you; the choice was damn limited. Adam sat in the armchair and looked amused as I was restless, snapping my fingers, jumping with my leg, whistling, and some other small movements, just to do _something_.

"Do you want me to get you something? A book, perhaps? Or something else, like a cell phone, computer…" Adam finally asked

I thought quickly. I had two choices: to swallow my pride and ask Adam to get me something or die of boredom.

"It would be great if I could borrow a computer, thank you." Adam seemed surprised by my politeness, or perhaps was it the fact that I answered or asked for something? Regardless what it was, he rose from his seat and disappeared into the house.

It seemed the more I got to know about him and other people here, the more confused I got. Before, I had some rules in my life, rules I followed and that kept me sane. Sane from the craziness of the world and the people in it.

I always heard from my mom, father, and other members of the family, what a burden I was, how much I cost, how much better their life would be without me. I was therefore independent, getting a job as soon as I could and the only thing my family did for me was offer me roof over my head, though that was only because they couldn't kick me out.

From the outside, my family was the normal family you meet every day. A single mother with a boyfriend, and 3 siblings, all girls. No crimes, maybe an unpaid parking ticket or something like that. The mother's pay was totally average; the daughters were nice and polite, with one exception of a "rebel child" who would surely grow out of it in the next couple of years. The regular next-door family.

The inside was totally different, with an abusive mother with pervert boyfriends. Since I was the youngest, I was the one they lusted after. My sisters ignored everything that happened, pretending it didn't happen right in front of their eyes and hugging and loving stepfather after stepfather. Ignoring everything.

My thoughts were cut off, by Adam who came with an ASUS laptop. I thanked quietly and started the computer. As soon as it started, I groaned. It was a Windows Vista 2007, and a one totally filled with viruses and cookies. It took it about 10 minutes to start and open the Webb.

I decided to check my mail. It took me about an hour to sort thru the mail, what was total crap (like reporters asking for a couple of words) or commercials and could be thrown away and what was worth reading.

My reading was interrupted by Adam who was leaning forward in his chair and clearing his throat.

I raised my eyebrow as an answer.

"We are alone in the house now. Is there something you would like to tell me, that you haven't said before? Perhaps more details that happened, something like that?"

Oh, he was thinking I would spill the beans now. I doubt that. "No thanks. I have told you everything, even more then I wanted to share."

He sighed

"How about your scars? You have scars on your body, like someone would hit you, but also ones that look like you've made them yourself. Like you were self-destructive. Suicidal."

I groaned on the inside. Great, he saw both sorts. "I'd rather not talk about them. They are private, you know."

I tried to continue reading but he interrupted me.

"Everything about you is private, like even your existence was a secret." Wow, I gotta admit it hurt, even from the mouth of a stranger.

"You know shit about what happened to me, and I think until you know everything, you cannot judge or criticize. **Butt off**."

He raised his hands like he was giving up, but he continued to prod

"Perhaps I know more than you give me credit for. You could perhaps share that little bit of information… I promise I shall stop bugging you then."

"Will you stop bugging me?"

"For now" I was probably the best I would got from him

"Fine, it was both sorts." Adam opened his mouth, but closed it again when I glared.

I returned to reading emails.

Half an hour later, when I was reading a mail from some of my friends, Ben came in with a huge grin. That grin scared me a bit. He was carrying a black board under his arm, the kind of you see at preschools and sound awfully.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. I realized Adam did the same and glared instead.

"Before you ask! I was thinking, since the kiddo is here to stay, she might need to learn some rules. You know, to keep her just a tad less likely to get into trouble." Ben explained, still grinning. I glared harder but Adam smiled.

"Seems like a good idea."

He took the laptop from me and left me with Ben and his tortures.

Ben started to fight with the board, trying to make it stand without falling. It was hard to keep from laughing, especially when he broke a vase with one of the legs and Adam came in to check out the noise. When he finally managed, Ben made a small stick figure at the top of the board.

"This is Adam." I raised my eyebrows again.

"Looks more like a child's drawing, but ok."

Ben pretended he didn't hear and continued his lecture

"He is the boss around here. He is called the _Alpha_, you remember that word. His word is law, figuratively and literally. If he gives a direct order, no one in the pack can break it. However Mercy…" a pause to draw another figure (this one had a dress and boobs) "can change his orders. That is because she is his _mate_.

If Adam is the first one in the pack, then she is like… 1 and a half, cause Darryl is second. His mate is Aurielle, you know the long haired Hispanic woman. The third is Warren, and it's still being discussed if his boy toy is his mate.

These are the "most important" ones in the pack, to put it simply the bosses. Any questions?"

I changed position so I wouldn't get stiff and asked

"Why are they bosses? Why not… Honey or you?"

He slapped his face with his palm and swore. Adam cleared his throat very loudly from upstairs and Ben apologized.

"Sorry, I just forgot you don't know this kind of stuff. They are the bosses because they are the most dominant."

My puzzled expression made him smile.

"Dominance… Now that's a bit hard to explain. Umm… it depends on many things. Your personality for example. I don't know exactly, but strength of will and fighting skills and some kind of _other_ is messed in there to. It's both how protective you are; a dominant wolf's instinct tells him to protect the weaker and anyone else whom he considers "his". Boss! You got a better way to explain this?"

He paused to get Adam's answer but Adam just chuckled and said

"You got yourself into this mess, you explain it."

Ben ran his hand thru his hair and sighed.

"Umm… Well, some people say it's how close you are to your wolf. It's a rumor I heard back in England, but a guy claimed the closer you are to your wolf, the more of the wolf instincts you got, the more dominant you get. I mean… okay, I don't know how to explain this."

I waved my hand at him, getting the gist. Apparently he didn't know the full shit either.

"Move on."

He looked relieved and continued

"Well… the pack has the dominants, but the ones actually keeping the pack together, the ones everyone protects are the submissive. They can fight just as well as the others in the most cases but it isn't their answer to everything like the dominants."

He smirked and looked on the ceiling, probably where Adam was currently sitting.

"The pack is there to protect, to be there for its members. In a well run pack, like this one, we are there for each other, even when some members are hurt, or… something. We can feel everyone in the pack. Now, since u hasn't been a member of a pack it's hard to explain. It's like… a buzz in the background. If I focus extra I can shut it out or make it "louder" but no one but the first 3" he made a circle around Adam, Mercy, Darryl, Aurielle and Warren "can hear it exactly.

The boss of every single wolf in the North America is the Marrok."

He drew a small figure above Adam.

"Every Alpha is the NA is bound to the Marrok and therefore he can boss everyone around. He is the super, über dominant, the most dominant in the whole NA. Most Alphas meet him once a year, when there's a meeting, but since we got Sam and Mercy here, he visits every month or every second month. He was here once since you came but had to run because of some emergency in his own pack.

The Marrok's pack is a pack mostly for wolfs with… problems, wither with control, or some other stuff."

Ben continued his lecture for another 2 and a half hour. When he was finished, my head was aching with too much information. Dominance, submission, Alphas, Marrok, Omega, packs, mates, bonds, and every normal person would have gotten a headache.

When he finished, he stood with the chalk in his hand pointing at me and asked.

"Any questions?"

I could see he was tired. I wasn't a good student at most days, not to mention my crappy leg. Bout' an hour ago, he stared to glance at the clock, tapping his leg and cracking his fingers.

"Just one."

He groaned and stared to say something but stopped when Adam started to get down the stairs. Ben waved his hand as a sign for me to continue.

"If it is as you say, that all packs are controlled by the Marrok, that no one may attack an human, and people can only keep other wolves" I glared at Adam "against their will when the Marrok sais so. Have I gotten this right?"

I got two nods in response

"In that case; what the hell was I in when you got me? Didn't seem such well organized, controlled, no-hurting policy you talked about. And if it was twisted somehow, why did you kill them all?"

Ben cringed and Adam answered

"Pack war. But they weren't really pack, because a pack must be "registered" at the Marrok. He gives out territories. A bunch of lone wolfs, ones with no pack decided to create their own pack. Since they made a lot of trouble, and it was in my, our, territory, we had to take care of them. You got somehow stick in the middle, with them capturing you. Not even the worst pack in the NA would be like that, not under the Marrok's rule.

You have got my deepest apologies for not going in faster, but I didn't know you were there."

He looked at me, shame and sorrow in his voice. I nodded and zoned out of reality. I was skipping on the memories of that time when Adam's voice broke thru.

"The Marrok is also apologizing to you; he says he should have handled the threat sooner. He shall be visiting soon and wants to meet you."

I nodded.

The rest of the day was a blur. I kept zoning out to the memories that now haunted me. The look in their face, the pain in my limbs. Their laughter, the handcuffs. The whips, the Tasers.

When someone snapped their fingers on front of my time for the x time, I was so in the memories I actually bit the finger. Samuel cursed in pain and I released his finger immediately. God knows where it might have been.

"Sorry. I was distracted."

I apologized with no real emotion. He had it coming!

He glared and said "I was just telling you your leg is ok now. You can use it and all."

I actually smiled and stood up. My body was stiff after all that time sitting down. I nodded at him and went down to the basement.

Someone had cleaned it up; there were no traces of my little outburst.

I Changed as fast as I could and suddenly felt lonely. As much as the thought frightened me and made me think someone had changed my brain; I wanted a hug.

A real hug, from someone I liked, someone who's smell made me feel calm and safe. In this country it meant one thing; Kyle.

I trotted up the stairs and found Adam. He raised his finger when I came as a sign I should wait. Since I was asking a favor, I waited.

Finally after 3 minutes and 38 seconds (there was a clock in the kitchen) he raised his head from the laptop.

"Yes?"

Now, how to communicate. I barked and tried to make him follow. He rose from his seat and followed me out to his backyard, only stopping to open the door.

Finally outside, I wrote "KYLE" with my claws.

It was wobbly, but readable.

"Warren left me a message. He and Kyle won't be coming in today but promised to come tomorrow."

I felt my mood drop. My head and tail actually hanged which made Adam add

"I'm sure they got a reason for not coming. If you want something from Kyle, just ask me, perhaps I'll be able to get it."

Hmm… after all this time, show a weakness and ask for a hug? Don't think so.

I shook my head and ran back inside. Adam sighed behind me and followed me into the basement. Since I was lying on the couch, he sat down right next to me. I moved so we wouldn't be touching and he moved closer.

I growled when his hand came closer to my body.

He sighed

"You know you have to let go of the things that happened there sometime? I have sworn over and over that neither I, nor any of my wolves mean you any harm. We have let you have everything you have wanted, space, meeting Kyle, anything."

I didn't move or make a sound. I knew accepting help from them would come and bite me in the ass some day.

"You smelled of sorrow and loneliness when you came to me. I know these things must be hard for you, but perhaps if you talked about them with someone. You still reek of loneliness, and I'm guessing that's what Kyle was for.

Have you ever thought of coming closer to someone else? Maybe not one of my male wolves, but Aurielle? Mercy? My daughter when she comes back from her mother's?"

I shook my head and slowly crept away from him.

"Fine, tell me if you decide otherwise."

Adam rose to his feet and went upstairs.

I went to sleep.

Unfortunately it wasn't nice, dreamless sleep I hoped for.

It started with Joshua, Floyd and the rest of them. It felt like I was going thru all of it again. I felt the knives, my flesh burned from the silver, I heard their laughter and couldn't move from the Tasers. When Floyd raped me for the fourth time that night, someone woke me up.

I was panting and gasping lying on the couch in (surprisingly) my human form. Adam and Mercy were right by the couch. Both of them looked worried and Mercy covered me with a blanket.

I wrapped the blanket around myself and shook my head trying to erase the images. I put my face in my hands and noticed with horror that they were tear streaks on my face. Adam put a hand on my shoulder but I moved away as fast as I could.

I couldn't stand people right now.

"Shhh… You are safe now… Nothing is going to happen to you here… Just calm down..."

Adam tried to calm me down with his power but made me even more wary. He soon noticed and repeated the words without the power.

I caught a glance of my reflection in the TV. I looked… horrible is the less you can say. My eyes wild, whites showing, I was panting with panic, more tears were visible and the blanket barely covered me.

I had enough.

Without a word to Mercy and Adam, I Changed.

They backed away as soon as I started the Change and only came closer when I was finished.

Adam continued with the crooning while I thought. The wolf gave me calm I desperately needed right now. What else did I need? Someone I liked and almost trusted. Translating: Kyle.

Busting on him would be damn inappropriate, but he did tell me to come anytime I wanted. That tipped the scale. I shook myself as if I were wet and run upstairs.

Mercy and Adam shouted things after me but I didn't stop until I was in the kitchen. On the fridge there were addresses to some members of the pack. Under Warrens address, in small letters, was Kyle's name and an address.

If only I knew where Richland was.

I decided not worry about that problem; I memorized the address and ran outside as soon as Adam and Mercy ran into the kitchen.

I heard Adam scream "FUCK!"just before I ran outside and towards (what I hoped) was Kyle's home.

**I know, I know. I'm the worst updater EVER and it would be very nice if u guys didn't strangle me for it. **

**I'm deeply apologizing for any "u" instead of you and other similar mistakes.**

**I want to thank you ALL for the wonderful reviews; without them I would have deleted the story a long time ago.**

**I'll try to update soon. Love/ Martyyna**


	9. Chapter 9: Kyle's

**Chapter 9: Kyle's**

I trotted to another crossroad and glared at the signs. They weren't telling me much.

How the hell would I know where to go now?

After strolling around for a while, I found a high way (or sorry, "state route") that lead me into a bigger city. I went were there was most noise, cause noise meant people and the only place people would be in the middle of the night would be the Centrum of the city with night clubs.

I wasn't wrong. The city was smelly, noisy and everybody kept calling me a "cute doggie". But since I found a sign pointing to West Richland, it was worth it. The address said "West Richland" so I set off at full speed.

When I arrived I was panting from exhaustion, it was no short trip. I strolled around for another while before I caught Kyle's scent. It ended just in front of a store where he must have entered a car, but it was something.

When I found a huge tourist map (all the "attractions" were pointed out, as well as hotels and restaurants) I was overjoyed. I found Kyle's street after a minute of staring and set off in the direction.

I had to come back 3 times before I remembered the way to Kyle all the way.

When I finally was in front of his house (or a house that smelled suspiciously like he and Warren) I was tired like hell and I wouldn't be surprised if the dawn would come in a couple of hours. I set my huge paw on the bell and dinged. I dinged again.

I could hear shuffling and whispers inside the house. Even so, I was surprised as hell when Warren opened the door, Kyle standing behind him with a baseball in his hands.

I never imagined Kyle would own a baseball bat.

Warren dropped his angry posture and said

"It isn't him Kyle. It's just Nea… What she is doing here at such an unholy hour I don't know, but I'll call Adam."

With his hands rubbing his eyes, he walked away.

Kyle used the bat to pose now and he smacked his lips

"What are you doing here hon? I know I haven't visited you today and I'm sorry, but it seems like you want something particular."

I nodded and stepped inside, rubbing my paws on the doormat.

Kyle laughed and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture

"No worries. It's dirty here anyway."

I doubted that but went in anyway, remembering to draw in my claws so I wouldn't scratch the floor. I came closer to him and when he went down on his knees, I rubbed my head on his shoulder (nearly making him fall backwards in the process) before laying my head there and awkwardly trying to put my paws around him.

It isn't the easiest thing, the wolf limbs are not meant to bend that way.

Kyle got the gist and hugged me. I but my nose in his neck making him shiver of the cold and drew in a breath of his scent.

His scent was like the wolf for me. Calming me. I knew Kyle wouldn't hurt me (why would he? It's not like he like girls) and he reminded me of my best friends back home.

Kyle chuckled, breaking the revelation for me

"You wanted a hug? Poor you, nobody at Adam's offered you one? Wait! Adam! Neither he or Mercy or a wolf over all except for Warren is here. Does that mean you have… run… all the way from his place?"

I nodded and my stomach made a sound.

Kyle laughed.

"When we are finished, I'll make you something to eat. Warren always rambles how a hungry wolf is a dangerous wolf… but you just seem cuddly, don't you? But still, to run all that way…"

He held me tight, and in a whole different voice asked

"What's wrong? I know you wouldn't have come if something hasn't haunted you real good."

I shook my head. Not now.

Instead I turned my head and licked inside his ear.

He made a funny noise and stood up

"None of that!"

I smiled and waved my tail.

Warren came into the kitchen when Kyle was warming up the meat loaf. He sighed and sat down on a chair.

"Adam apologized for the problem Kyle. He asks if you want him to come and get her…"

"No, no! It'll be a problem, plus this chick apparently wants my company tonight. She'll be fine here tonight."

Warren started sending a SMS and continued

"Apparently, she got some kind of a nightmare. Changed in the middle of her sleep, and was whimpering and crying in both forms. Took 10 minutes for Mercy and Adam to wake her up."

Both pairs of eyes focused at me but I ignored both, eating the meat loaf.

After a couple seconds, Warren continued

"Adam was guessing she would come here, she asked for you earlier." That earned me a pat on the head from Kyle "He came here, but found no traces of her. There are some wolves after her, following her trail, but she is faster than most, even Mercy."

Kyle laughed quietly and gave me another pat

"You little rebel; I'm surprised Adam hasn't cut your tail of yet!"

The tail in focus wiggled even more.

A stair creaked. Mine and Warren's heads shot up. Kyle went out to the hall in his purple robe greeting "Amy" when Warren started to whisper furiously

"You are lucky you technically don't belong to the pack! Adam adores you in his own special way, but this was really crossing a line. If you would have done anything, it would all fall on him! You should just know what kind of lines he is bending and twisting for you… That is however not the most important thing right now.

Kyle is a divorce lawyer, one on a middle of a very messy divorce. Since the kids are stuck of the middle of everything, they are staying here. We thought it was the father wanting to take them when you came over. Anyway, Amy, the 8 year old is apparently awake and I must know; can you control yourself?"

I glared at him as if he would have lost his mind.

Ben explained earlier that some wolves had problems controlling their urges like not-killing, not-fighting, not-eating. I haven't got that problem so I glared.

Warren smiled and started to search for something in a drawer

"I knew you haven't got any problems with control, but wanted to be on the safe side. There is another child in here, Timmy. He is 5."

I nodded. No panicking if something else was heard.

Warren finally found what he was looking for. A dog collar. I gave him "Please tell me you are kidding or you'll lose your finger"-glare and trotted out to the hall.

A small brown haired girl with a teddy bear was next to Kyle, explaining to him in the sweetest voice that the laughter woke her up.

Kyle seemed a bit lost how to explain so I gave a quiet bark and waved my tail like a proper dog. I refuse a collar, but I could play along.

The girl's eyes were big as plates when she saw mw but soon were overfilled with joy

"Uncle Kylie! You never told us u had a puppy! And a cute one… What's his name?"

Kyle looked thankfully at me

"Well, it's actually Warren's friend's dog, but she loves me the most. Right Nea?"

I nodded which made Amy squeal. I slowly came closer so I wouldn't scare her and licked her hand.

She immediately wiggled out of Kyle's embrace and hugged me as hard as she could. She dropped her bear and started to pat my ears and head. Kyle stared to look worried when she tugged my ears and opened my muzzle but I gave him a calm look and let her.

The kiddo was enjoying her as hell, sitting on my back while I was lying down and using my ears as handlebars.

"Pony! Forward!"

Warren and Kyle embraced each other and both grinned as I played with her. Warren even made photos of us with his phone. I'm absolutely sure those will be sent or shown to Adam.

After the kicks in my ribs became too much, I rose up, just barely and stared to crawl forward. Amy squealed at first but after 30 seconds stated to kick harder in my ribs

"Faster! Faster!"

My ribs were actually aching when Kyle pulled her off me and said she had to go to bed and sleep. Amy started to cry saying she wanted the doggie

Kyle turned his head asking me a silent head and I nodded

"The doggie can sleep in your room. If you go to sleep now, Nea can sleep in your room."

Nothing works like a little bit of bribery.

Amy ran upstairs, her laughter laud in the house.

The rest of us followed.

The room she went into was a… Princess room. Full of Disney princess in all kind of shapes, colors and sizes. I groaned inwardly.

Amy was in a huge (for an 8 year old) bed and she patted the covers beside her.

"The puppy can sleep here!"

"Amy, hon' the puppy cannot sleep on the bed. Kyle said she could sleep in the room, but the bed…" Warrens rant was cut off when I hopped on the bed, right where Amy had patted earlier and rolled myself to a ball.

I could practically feel my eyes sparkle with laughter.

Kyle said goodnight to us both (Amy insisted he kissed me on the nose) before he shut off the lights and almost shut the door (you know, when it's almost closed except for a small spring where you can see the light from the hall).

Amy kept stroking my head before falling asleep. I fell asleep soon after her.

I woke up again from the sound of Amy sobbing quietly. I whimpered quietly, letting her know I was awake. I licked away her tears and she grabbed my head and held on as hard as she could.

"Mommy and daddy are fighting. I don't like when they are fighting… A mean girl at school said her mommy said that my mommy and daddy won't ever be together and happy…"

I slowly licked away her tear as she poured her heart out in me. I finally put my nose by her chin and rubbed her there like a dog would. She fell asleep again, but I stayed awake.

Something was going on downstairs.

I gently slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Amy and quietly trotted downstairs.

Four strange men were in the house. Kyle and Warren argued with them, both of them blocking the entrance the best they could. From the bits of conversation it was Amy's and Timmy's father plus some of his buds. He wanted the kids.

I didn't understand why Warren wouldn't just kick their asses; he was after all a werewolf.

And I quickly realized that was the problem.

Without revealing himself, he couldn't do anything.

But I could, even while playing a dog.

I slipped between Kyle and Warren and glared at the men. I growled and bared my teeth which made them all back away 3 steps. They soon lost their "we got advantage, you surrender" attitudes and body language, instead they became nervous and kept glancing at my bared teeth.

Kyle and the prick I was guessing was the father continued in shushed voiced and finally settled that if the group didn't leave, Kyle would call the police.

The group left, all the men glaring at me.

Kyle shut the door and locked it behind him. He went to the living room and plopped down on a leather couch. Warren stood behind him, massaging Kyle's neck but I could see he was listening if the men really left.

"Thanks Warren. And Nea, I have to admit, perfect timing girl."

I nodded and slipped away back to Amy's room where she slept.

The Night's crisis was over.

When it was morning, I slipped out of the bed again and went to the kitchen where Warren was making eggs and bacon.

He nodded at me and said

"Thank you for helping out yesterday. I would have hated to reveal myself as a werewolf; it would damage Kyle much more than me. I owe you."

If he said so.

I snagged a piece of bacon from one of the plates and counted them again.

Two smaller plates, one with Cinderella and one with some kind of a tank on it. Then 4 bigger plates. I glared suspiciously at the extra two. As if Warren could read my thoughts he said

"Mercy and Adam will be dropping in for breakfast."

Kyle chose that moment to stroll in, wearing the same purple robe I saw on him yesterday (or actually today) carrying a newspaper. I could see faint bags under his eyes.

"Hi Nea. Slept well?"

I nodded and rubbed myself against his leg.

Kyle plopped down on one of the chairs just as the front door dinged. He groaned and rose up again, lightly strolling to the hall. I followed him.

He opened the door with a quick move of his wrist, quick enough so Mercy's hand was still on its way to ring again. She and Kyle smiled and stared to chat while Adam glared at me and ordered me to follow him.

I decided I was in enough trouble and followed obediently into a side room. Wow, Kyle's house was bigger than I thought.

Adam stared to open his mouth after leaning on a shelf but shut it again after I stomped on his foot and pointed my head to the ceiling.

He nodded

"I know a child is sleeping up there. I guess you are worried we or I shall wake her up?"

I nodded a small threat in my eyes. Amy should sleep.

"Fine, I'll try to be quiet. What were you thinking? You can't just run off like that, not when I'm responsible for you and I don't know if you have enough control, or when you don't belong to my pack! What if you had killed someone out there? Or if you would have hurt yourself?"

He continued to whisper-shout about how irresponsible it was, how I should have asked him to drive, or had another wolf follow me, the lecture continued and continued.

He finally finished up with a sigh and said

"I'm actually sorry to say this but since this is the only thing that seems to matter to you here, the only thing that can make you sit up and listen, and I'm going to ask Kyle not to visit for a week or two. I'm sorry."

With these words he went outside while my world shattered. The only thing I liked in this fucking place was Kyle and Warren when Kyle was around.

Fuck, I should have ignored the nightmares and just stay where I was.

I continued to curse in my head, at myself, at Floyd and Joshua, and finally (even if I knew I shouldn't) at Adam.

I headed back in the kitchen where I lied down partially on Kyle's feet and far away from Adam. I knew both Warren and Mercy heard the argument (or well, lecture).

An awkward silence erupted.

Warren cleared his throat and said

"Yesterday, I caught come real nice photos of Nea. Perhaps you would like to see them?"

I don't know what Adam did since I was under the table but Mercy seemed to love them

"Aww, how cute. She looks real sweet with that girl, almost like Samuel when he used to play with kids."

More noises and comments were made before Adam said almost inaudibly

"She looks real happy on this one."

Soft footsteps were heard on the stairs.

I rose up and trotted to Amy and Timmy.

Timmy turned out to be a cute little buy with his blond hair sticking up in every possible way. He looked adorable with his sleepy eyes, holding Amy by the hand.

Both kids ran at me as soon as they saw me and I entered the kitchen having two kids on my back. Timmy sat mostly on my neck and Amy right behind him. I dropped off Timmy by the tank plate, beside Warren and Amy beside the other plate, next to Mercy.

I silently slipped to Kyle again.

Everyone continued to chat, Adam thanking the kids for taking care of his dog (he wishes!) while Kyle absently stroked my head. The kids kept slipping me bacon and other food and everyone pretended they didn't see anything.

Finally, the dreaded moment came

"Thank you for breakfast and for the wonderful company Kyle. I owe you big time for taking care of Nea. Unfortunately I have things I have to attend to, so we are forced to leave."

He rose up from his seat and Mercy followed.

The kids started to cry and Amy held my head hard when she said goodbye. I licked hers and Timmy's noses which made them giggle.

Warren nodded at me as a goodbye and I nodded back.

I hugged the Kyle in the same manner we hugged earlier.

"You'll see, the week will fly by real quick." He had heard bout the punishment. I drew in his scent and quickly ran outside where Adam and Mercy were waiting.

"If you want to Change, there are extra clothes in the back seat."

I hopped in the trunk by jumping over the back seat. Nope, no Changing for me.

The car purred to life as I rolled myself to a ball and stared at the space in front of me.

When Adam opened the trunk I hopped quickly outside and ran inside the house. The basement door was closed.

I sat in front of it, waiting for Mercy and Adam to come. When Adam saw me, he simply opened it and allowed me to run downstairs.

When downstairs I had enough of myself.

Since I knew everyone would freak out, I went to the cage and lied down in the middle of it. Then I let myself slid back, letting my Sister in charge for a while.

The first person that came down was a wolf I didn't know by name. He was whistling a not-so-merry tune and stopped abruptly as he saw me.

My sister growled quietly and he ran forward and slammed the door to the cage.

"BOSS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs "The wolf is in control, it's in control!"

Adam came quickly, though not running.

I felt my sister stare at him coldly with controlled eyes.

I wan neutral and I knew my scent confirmed that.

Adam came close to the bars. This was too much for me so I forced back control and slammed myself against the bars.

Adam backed away quickly and said

"I guess we are back to square one."

I let my wolf forward again, and she lied down on the floor.

I guess we are.

**You have to admit I updated pretty quickly there! Comments will make me happier and more likely to update ;)**

**/Martyyna**


	10. Chapter 10: Of Tragedies and Grandmas

**Chapter 10; of Tragedies and Grandmas**

My Sister was not so happy to be in Charge for a while but accepted it.

While I hid behind her, she scared of pretty much everyone with her cold glare.

I don't know how many days went with me hiding, my Sister eating a LOT and Kyle not visiting. I overheard Adam's conversation with someone; it was about Kyle. As long as my wolf will be in charge, he won't come to visit since it was too dangerous.

At first I overanalyzed every single memory I had of my old life only to move on my new life after that. As I moved on to my capture, my sister gave me some memories she hid from me earlier. I became numb after them, just letting my memories pass.

When I slept, I had strange dreams involving my old grandmother. She stood with her huge wooden spoon by the stove and asked what I have done with myself.

I fell into apathy witch made my sister restless and worried. She tried to change our places but I hid even deeper inside us. When she realized I won't be coming forward anytime soon, she Changed again. When she realized being human won't bring me forward, she Changed again.

The last Change, more than usual pain came along. My Sister absorbed almost all of it, but her worry made me sit up.

One word was repeated in her mind, over and over again. Babies, babies, babies. _Our_ babies.

I slumped down even more inside of us. Great, just great.

I was pregnant.

And the best part was my non existing knowledge of whom the father was. Just perfect.

I let my sister handle it all and slid back into apathy once again.

Her pain woke me up.

I came forward and smelled blood. Our blood.

I got our eyes back and I glanced around. We had miscarried and my Sister was pining for her non existing offspring. I touched one of the lumps with my nose and let out a howl of sorrow. This shouldn't happen. Not to me, not to anybody.

I heard steps on the stairs and turned myself so my body was covering the blood and our babies. No one should see our two babies like this.

Adam, Warren and Mercy were the ones who came down.

They glanced at me, looking for the reason of my sorrow and the smell of blood but didn't seem to see it.

Mercy moved more to the right and gasped.

"I'm so sorry…"

I howled in pain again but growled as Warren and Adam tried to move. As Mercy came closer, another growl erupted.

This wasn't theirs. It wasn't their business. They had no right to see.

Mercy went back to Adam and whispered so I barely heard in his ear

"She has miscarried because of the Change…"

I growled loudly.

Warren hung his head and looked away from me. Apparently the TV was oh, so interesting.

Adam spoke slowly

"Nea, I'm very sorry for your loss..." LOSS?

This wasn't a "loss", this was a tragedy for me.

"…if there is anything I can do for you, just say so. Anything."

Letting me go would be the obvious answer but I was too tired. I gave my sister the arena again and ignored Adams lecture how letting a wolf forward too much can make you disappear.

I didn't care.

I did care when Warren and Adam tried to enter the cage. Fortunately my sister thought the same, because she chased them off.

Adam must have thought I was having a hard period and didn't still me with his power.

For the next days, both I and my Sister fell into apathy. We were curled around our babies, not letting anyone come close, only grasping bits off conversations

"…poor kiddo…"

"…didn't Ben tell her this when he taught her?"

"…I went thru the same the first time…"

"…the father must be one of the other wolves…"

"…do you think she will disappear…"

"…I guess we will have to shoot her…"

"…life has proven even more that it's not fair"

"…think she will handle it, she is a strong kid…"

"…can't Warren's boy toy visit her?"

"…don't get it either!"

The conversations were ignored and the questions unanswered.

Both I and my Sister went on a hunger strike, making the conversations buzz even more.

The dreams continued, but now my grandmother told me to remember the bedtime story.

I realized that the further I fell into apathy, the harder it was to get out. And I didn't even want to get out.

Apathy made life numb and painless, like an overdose of painkillers or alcohol.

The further I fell the more beautiful it seemed.

Another dream woke me up.

My grandmother slapped me real hard and then hit me with a spoon on my head.

"Don't you dare to fade away! I give you my life now, but I won't be around the next time. Bye, bye baby girl. Use the gift well."

I woke up gasping wildly, the apathy long forgotten and a headache pounding in my head.

Someone was screaming. Screaming like she was being skinned alive or going thru torture. The sound of it made my ears hurt and made me want to hit the person who was screaming. Who the hell would scream like that, couldn't she shut her mouth?

Oops; I was the person that was screaming. I must have Changed in my sleep again. I glanced around the cage and realized someone had removed the blood and my babies while I was sulking.

My breath was coming in short gasps when I stopped screaming. I heard steps from the top floor; someone was running down to me.

I threw some clothes on me but otherwise made no moves.

Was my grandma really gone? Or was it just a dream? It all seemed so real, too real. Her smile was exactly as I remembered her, like she hasn't changed at all in the last 6 years. I remembered her telling me to call her. I drew a deep breath to calm myself and smelled something… something weird.

Adam and Mercy rushed in at full speed but both stopped by the cage and started to sniff.

"Why does it smell like witch magic in here?" Mercy asked, surprise in her voice. Wow, I guess witches were real too. Wonder if vampires were too…

"Don't look at me, I didn't do anything. Could I borrow a phone?" My answer was rushed and there was a clear plea in my voice. I had to call my grandma. She was basically the only one in the family I loved oh, so much and the one I would let myself be cut open for. She was simply grandma.

Adam handed me his cell after a warning glare. I guess my behavior was very weird after weeks of actually doing nothing.

I dialed her number quickly and got more panic stricken with every ring. Finally I got her answering machine

"Hejsan, detta är Laura. Jag är ledsen att berätta för er att jag har nu gått bort, jag hoppas ni kommer sakna mig. Lisa, skulle du kunna vara en sötnos och ta alla plantor till din lägenhet? Jag skulle avsky att se de dö nu. Om du är min älskade barnbarn, tryck ditt favoritnummer. Jag älskar er alla och hoppas att min död kommer göra det jag hoppades för. Hej då alla, mitt testamente finns i den stora garderoben i hallen." **(Translation at the bottom of the page)**

I pressed the number 8 as quickly as I could and listened to another message

"Nea, min älskling. Jag hoppas verkligen du får detta meddelandet. Eftersom många vet ditt favorit nummer, det enda jag vill saga till dig är: kom ihåg den gamla godnattsagan jag brukade berätta för dig. I den finns allt du kommer behöva. Om det blir så att du faktiskt blir ytterst förvirrad; ring Lisa, fast jag varnar dig att hon inte kan allt eller ens hälften, och att hon inte är en av oss. Jag älskar dig verkligen gumman, min lilla Nea. Visste du det var jag som valde ditt namn? Jag vet man borde älska all sin familj med samma styrka, men sanningen är att jag har älskat dig mest. Jag är ledsen din mor har flyttat så långt bort och dragit dig med sig. Jag har alltid försökt vaka över dig och är ledsen för det som hände utanför den där bion. Ja gumman, jag vet allt… Jag måste avsluta nu men du kommer alltid finnas i mitt hjärta och jag hoppas jag kommer finnas i ditt. Puss…" (**Again, translation at the bottom.)**

I got disconnected. I was shocked and sad and got disconnected. Still in shock, I handed the phone to Adam who looked worried at me.

I stood up and walked out from the cage, passing both Adam and Mercy. Their mouths were moving but I couldn't hear anything. I sat down at the new couch, leaned my head back and started to breathe heavier and heavier. I was either having a panic attack or I was going to start crying real soon. Maybe both. The sobs came soon, in a very uncontrollable way. Few seconds after the sobs, the tears came.

I was sitting on the couch, with my face in my hands and crying. Crying for my beloved grandma, crying for me not being able to say goodbye to her or even come to the funeral, crying for my babies, crying for my lost life, crying for what happened to me, crying for everything and nothing at all.

Mercy sat down beside me and started to awkwardly stroke my back and murmuring something.

My sobs grew and I was starting to run out of breath. I felt Adams power trying to calm me but I didn't want to be calm, I wanted to mourn. Adams power slid over and beside me like I was a rock in the water. Other waves were coming but just like the first one, they slid. I heard distantly when Adam was calling Sam to come over as quickly as he could but right now, my world was my tears.

I don't know how long I cried but my sobs only grew. Soon, I couldn't breathe because of my tears and sobs. I heard more steps on the stairs and this time Adam's and Sam's power calming me. I didn't want to die, not yet, so I accepted their power, welcomed their calm and tranquility. My breaths became deeper and calmer but my tears just kept coming. I didn't care I was surrounded by dominant wolves or the fact that I had just thrown away everything I had fought for here.

I heard Adam making more calls but then I got mental images of my grandma committing suicide and the world blurred again. I don't know how much time passed but Mercy stopped stroking my back and got up. Another person sat down, but my nose was running and I couldn't smell anything. It was an utter surprise when Kyle drew me to his side and stroked my short hair. I hugged him and continued to cry, totally ruining his shirt. I felt someone and I guessed it was Warren sitting down and putting my feet up to his lap. He stroked my legs and both let me cry in peace. The other people left the basement leaving us.

I tried to explain to them why I was crying but incoherent words came out from my mouth and I got "Shhh…"'s as a response from both.

After a while I had cried all the tears I could cry and was just hiccupping, thinking of everything and nothing at all. I sat up, drawing my feet from Warrens lap and releasing Kyle from my hold. Both looked at me and Kyle swore silently. When I looked at him surprised he gave me a small smile and said

"I really hate seeing you with such a sad broken look in your eyes, honey. But you have to admit you have the most original ways to break Adam, making him remove his punishments."

I gave him a small smile at the last statement and put my head on his shoulder. Even though I had slept not so long ago, I was exhausted like hell and I felt my eyes close shut.

**TRANSLATION**

"Hi, this is Laura. I'm sorry to say I have now passed away, I hope you'll miss me. Lisa, could you be a sweetheart and take all my plants too your place? I would hate to see them die now. If you are my beloved granddaughter calling, press your favorite number. I love you all and I hope my death won't be in vain. Bye bye you all, my will is in the big wardrobe in the hall."

"Nea, my darling. I really hope you will get this message. Since quite a lot people know your favorite number, I have only one thing to say to you: remember the old bedtime story I used to tell you. Everything you need is in it. If it comes to the point when you are really confused; call Lisa. I warn you that she doesn't know all, or even half of the information. She is also not one of us. I really love you sweetie, my little Nea. Did you knew I was the one who picked out your name? I know you are supposed to love your family all the same but the truth is I have always loved you the most. I'm sorry your mother has moved so far away and dragged you with her. I have always tried to watch over you and I am really sorry for what happened outside that cinema. Yes honey, I know everything… I have to go now but you will always be in my heart and I hope I will be in yours. Bye…"

**I know I the worst updater in this century but I got some good news; I got 3 chapters ready, just need to finish the bedtime story. I would like to thank EVERYONE for the wonderful reviews, you rock! A big special thank you to Yue Moon who gave me a great idea for this chapter.**

**I'll be back, just like the terminator ;D**

**/Martyyna**


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